SKILLA DIARIES XI

The weekend came with mixed feelings, had mad fun on thursday and friday but my laptop as well a 2 of DJ's was stolen along with my N-Gage, International pali and a Hard drive.....blogging via my phone sucks donkey balls, I have to squint even with my jigi.

Thursday

Ibux came into town and was lodged at the sheraton.....lucky bastard got a suite as all the small rooms were occupied due to the ICAN conference. Myself, DOA and DJ paid him a visit...gisted till late and came to the conclusion of having a mini-drink up. We headed to Area2 to get Vodka, JD and chasers to start the night. Invited a few friends, had a few drinks and headed to BYOB afterwards with Ms.Kunz and Bookie. Left play around 3AM as I had a lot of work waiting for me on my desk the following day.

Friday

Most of the routes in the FCT was blocked for 2 reasons; i; MEND issued a bomb threat and ii; Madam Patience detonated series of C-4 bombs at her pet project. The traffic in the FCT was out of this world. Finally saw ibeji and her twin today and was I relieved when she told me she was just messing with me.
Hit Area2 shopping complex to get more booze and chasers...got back and Ms. Jigi and her friends were already there feelingall comfortable and things. Funny thing is boys didn't look at her side as her friends were way hotter than her....no be say dem sef hot. A few more guests popped in and myself, Ms. Kunz and Duli created a VIP lounge on the balcony. Trust naija people, everyone wanted to get in *smh*.

The mini-gig ended about mid-night and we proceeded to play....the night was LEGENDARY is all I can say for now cos my laptop was already stolen and all I could do was drink my worries away as well as party like a rockstar but I didn't gbensh like a pornstar even with the array of potential 1night stands.

Saturday

This day was spent brooding over the theft of my lappy and other properties in the bag. Played FIFA '10 most of the day and slept as if a tse-tse fly bit me. Went to sheraton to report the theft only for them to show me a BIG sign saying: CARS ARE PARKED AT OWNERS RISK. I accepted my fate and carried my big head home to go and crash.

Later visited my 2nd home at LC where boys turned the whole theft into a joke. Cheered me up a bit, but what is lost is lost o jare. Snag is I have to buy a new lappy I didn't budget for *kmft*.

Sunday

Chilled at LC for a bit, watched the Blackpool vs Manchester City game after which we watched the Big Brother Africa Finale. We even placed bets on who would win BBA. When Uti won....see men singing National anthem as if Nigeria was playing a football game, u go fear celebration.

Left LC for ketchup to meet up with DJ and his 2hot cousins, shame I couldn't hit on them because of the "bro-code" which states "thou shall not hit on ur homeboy's sister/cousin/family unless you're given the go ahead". If not! The ashawo in me for don take affirmative action.

I miss my lappy o! *BB wailing smiley*

P.S.
I no fit ever proof-read this post cos it was typed from my phone. Gbagaun all u like....na una sabi.

Have a great week

Baby Daddy? Naaaaa!!!!!!.....THE SKILLA DIARIES X

Saturday
 
The weekend was bloody uneventful to a degree as i stayed indoors most of the time, the only time i went out was on saturday, to visit my siblings in school (visiting day) and pickup Mr. HO from the airport. The journey back from the airport had k-leg as car's transmission decided to act up somewhere in Lugbe, the Yoruba boy in me don put hand for head saying WTF! more like MOGBE! but thanks to the company of HO and Duli, who were able to calm me down while we pushed the car off the road. The car gave itself brain and decided to enter gear after a silent prayer to Baba God.

Spent most of the time watching movies *movie weekend* (Get him to the Greek, Nightmare on Elm Street, Jonah Hex and Robin Hood) and whooping DJ's ass on FIFA 2010 I'm bad ass like that *insert BB cool smiley*. After a long day of lazing about, decided to go look for food around 10pm.....hailed a cab as didn't wanna risk another transmission episode with the car. 1st stop Jeveniks, they were closed, next was SFC, same story, 3rd stop was Wakky's bastards where closing as we got there meanwhile my stomach was grumbling. Finally decided to hit Drumsticks, lucky for us they were opened.

SAN called us to hook up with him @ Cafe24, got there but i wasn't feeling the whole setting even with the bevy of chicks scattered around. Was about to head home when Timmy called to say he was at Wine Shop....make e no be like disrespect we headed there met Q, Tilly and other peeps i don't know and left immediately after drinking a mixture of berry blast and something in a bottle that tasted like cough syrup. I suspect whoever got that bottle was definitely Hausa malo people love cough syrup. Called Ms. Coco when i got home make e no be like say i no dey persistent and slept off almost immediately.

Sunday

Didn't wake up till about 10:00AM which automatically ruled out church from my itinerary. Kept drifting in and out of sleep while DJ and Duli continued movie weekend. DJ had a visitor, Ms. Jigi as she's got 4eyes just like me. Ms. Jigi flirts with me whenever she has the chance, a favor which i always return. One of these days i just might offer her kondo lollipop and from what i've heard, she wants to do me i wonder why. Myself and Duli left the house briefly to look for food when i got a call from Ibeji.

Ibeji happens to be a pet project (i was supposed to split her from her twin so that my guy could have undivided attention) I won't say i'm proud of this but i did a good job it was like hot knife through butter. She caught feelings along the way....bla bla bla yadi yadi yadi....sha sha sha....we ended up in something a relationship. It ended as soon as it started cos there was no real feelings involved.

The last time i got a call from her, about 4months ago, she asked if i had a raincoat on the last time we were in the rain together which i replied YES cos i don't like getting wet. This is 9months after and she called telling me she has serious gist for me. This babe better not have funny news cos i remember her ranting on how bad she wants a baby......me i'm not capable of raising a mini-skilla at the moment.....it better be gist that they gave her VISA to Sudan where she can adopt a child and raise as her own.

I'll probably see her later during the week sha, make i hear the gist she wan give me..........got a truckload of paper work on my desk.




P.S.
I can say i attended Basketmouth's "Lord of the Ribs" as one of my followers kept sending me voicenotes of the show...Thank God for technology

You know the drill...gbagaun at ur peril

Bye peoples

Friday Night Blues....THE SKILLA DIARIES IX

This piece is totally fictional, well some parts true and if u can’t deal with it GTFOH

Okay so I’m the Parole Officer according to some of my friends, I know how to get a party started and also know how to ginger people to groove utunu call me the ginger-bread man UTUNU!. But lately that part of me whittled and I doubt if I can give a reason *\e fit be work sha.

I am not known for turning down invites to groove but lately I have mastered the art. Today for example, a colleague had a baby and was having a naming ceremony free lunch, was 10mins from the venue when I decided to turn back and head home instead cos I was feeling drowsy from the shots of whiskey I had after work. Got home and was supposed to change and head for Master-Master’s [@GriffinStreaks Bro] girlfriend’s birthday party but as I laid my head on the bed, I met myself in dreamland. na so I miss awoof evening food*[life of a bachelor].

Woke up around 8:30PM for no reason swear down na hunger and was cussing cos I didn’t make the birthday party........... Ms. Coco was supposed to come over to Abuja for the weekend but we had to cancel make e no be like say man dey rush. Got a bag of mini Kit-Kats for her cos I know she loves them but DJ and Dubz had other plans hunger na binsh!. Na so dem kidnap kit-kat o begin dey lem am, they kuku promised to replace it and I joined in the jedi-jedi fest

Exhibit A

The kit-kat didn’t subdue the hunger so we decided to head out to look for food. Had a quick stop at Princess Suites, Zone7 to see one bros like that who didn’t release us till we at least had 3bottles of beer, we did and u can see the images below. I had 5 by the way

Fallen Soldiers

Finally headed to Go-Pro to eat poundy with efo riro to quality when Baz called to say he’s in town…..Baz’s cousin is getting married the following day and I was supposed to help with the planning of the Bach Eve *women/strippers and a good venue* dem no dey pay me na which I totally didn’t do. After eating our poundy with many many meat we decided to head home when Baz called again to say he was at Cubana The club with the 5oyear old DJ, we decided to stop over cos it was right behind the house…..bobo begin dey ask me for girls ni sha! I resemble minister of women affairs? I just give my guy tales by moonlight jaaa.

SAN wanted to drag me to SOHO and PLAY but I declined cos it’s been a while since I rogered those bouncers and I wasn’t willing to drop any of my tashere money as iRep Team BANS*Boys Are Not Smiling*. Rory was out too, with like 10babes but motivation no dey at all......

It’s the 3rd consecutive Friday I’ve visited club B.E.D. and I have no regrets, the DJ’s always on point and the people there have been fantastic. The word “inhibition” doesn’t exist in the club and the watch word for ladies is “no long thing”.....................will give u gist of club B.E.D in a later post......duty calls

P.S.
I still don't proof read this shit

Busted.....THE SKILLA DIARIES VIII

Busted

Always knew this day will come, the day one of my parents will find out about my smoking habit. Well, my Mum just found a lighter in my suit and another in my pocket while trying to arrange my room who send her message!. There's no explanation i can give at all and i hate lying.  I've always been a good child, bar my nonchalant attitude to some things.....i mean i had good grades in primary and secondary school and did my best more like chipped and dubbed in Uni. I've done a few bad things which i got scolded for, but this will definitely crush her. 

Good thing i'm not in Lagos at the moment and God bless my sister for giving me a "heads up" before momsy sprung the question on me and i start stammering. Omo i for hear am that kind e-honda 100 handslap. I feel so bad right now cos she'll be disappointed in me. I should have just casted myself long ago liver no gree me. Na to face tongue lashing remain.

Specimen A

Been looking for excuses to give her, i mean she didn't catch me smoking, na ordinary lighter she find na!......believe me there are a million and one excuses i could drop + my followers on twitter came up with a whole bunch, but i guess i might just go with the truth surface truth alone without details. After all she no fit kill me.

Origin

I believe the first time i lit a cigarette was probably 10years ago, fresh outta secondary school, rolling with awon boys peer pressure is a binsh!. It wasn't serious then, was just something i did when i hung out with those fellas. Smoked occasionally in Uni, i can even count the number of times i did, bar my final year with the pressure from exams and final year project. 

Specimen B

Enter NYSC Camp, Kubwa, Abuja.....na then the real smoking start man can't cancel udeme without B&H. I turned into a chimney but i quit for a bit i don quit like 147 times yet i come back when i'm under pressure at work. To make matters worse, everyone in my department(IT) smokes and it was easy as my office was located at the back far away from HR. My colleagues and I shared ideas over several sticks of B&H as well as the VP Engineering whenever he comes for reports and delivery meetings. As if that's not bad enough, my new boss smokes in his office and he's ever willing to share with his employee.

It was easy to keep my smoking habits from the parents as i was far away in Abuja and also devised a way of coding it whenever i'm in Lagos, a bottle of CK does the trick.
I Know a lot of people mostly family don't know i light up Nigeria with fumes of nicotine that has no effect on our ozone layer and now you know cos you're reading this blog. I'm sorry if i disappointed u but hey IT'S MY LIFE *don't judge me*

Old habits die hard but this one has to die a quick death as i hope to quit within this week cos it's hurting everyone around me especially myself *health wise*. Time to find a new addiction maybe fornication and move on with my life.

Thanks for all the DMs, PINGS! and text messages advising me to quit and live a healthy life, i appreciate y'all and i'll try my best not to light a cig again beans. I pray i don't die of lung cancer and  pray i live long to see my grand kids.



Disclaimer
This post was put up in a rush and i repeat, i don't proof read shit, gbagaun all u can :p.

Advert
THE FEDERAL MINISTRY OF HEALTH WARNS THAT SMOKERS ARE LIABLE TO DIE YOUNG *Thank God my name ain't Smokers*

Have a great day and lay off the sticks.

Weekend in Las Gidi.....THE SKILLA DIARIES VII

Monday is here again and it's my break time, what to do? What to do? i know, i'll put up a post on my blog, not as if people read it.

Here's a recap/summary of my weekend in Lagos

Thursday

Work was breathing down my neck like a nagging housewife as I had deadlines and milestones to achieve on a particular project. *e no easy to be manager o* I was able to achieve 75% of it sha. Got stuck in traffic for over an hour of which the sun wasn’t smiling at all, this got me sweating like a sallah ram *we all know rams don’t sweat* as the AC in the car was not working. Cause of traffic? Everyone and their daddies where traveling out of Abuja for independence weekend. Eventually got back to the and couldn’t concentrate, even my Boss noticed and gave me rest of the day off.

Packed up my stuff and headed to the airport early cos I envisaged mad traffic from my previous experience earlier in the day but the road was free as a nymphos vagina 3rd mainland bridge on a Sunday morning. My flight wasn't till 8:10 so i whipped out my laptop and surprisingly there was free internet service at the airport, skyped for a bit and did other stuff online i download music tire. 

GTB Yellow came thru but she was on another airline but we chilled at the lobby and had a few drinks smirnoff ice and udeme , talked about stuff and made fun comments about other passengers. Her flight was delayed by 2 hours, mine was delayed by 3 like WTF!!!!!. had a couple of udeme all by myself till we boarded @ 11:30PM i for stay jeje for Abuja. Slept all thru the flight and Ganja and Buga came to pick me up. Instead make i jejely go crash, na from airport to club o for a friend's "Bach Eve". CONGRATULATIONS OWO!. *He got married on Saturday* Men don dey old! Had a great time at the B.E even though i was tired.

We headed to Buga's and i decided to crash on the bed with three ladies ashawo that i am without ulterior motives. Enjoyed my sleep sha even though some peeps thought i was up to no good.

Friday

Had a business meeting which went well and got good news from my mentor who just got appointed as the MD of a Telecoms firm. Had a date with Ms. Coco, we did lunch and movies. She sure knows how to hold a conversation plus she's pretty and has big bumbum a nice shape too. Who knows, she might just be the one. Its too early to call as i've decided to take things slow not as if we're dating sef

Was supposed to go out with a bunch of friends at night but i crashed immediately i got home 9:30 to be precise only for me to wake up to several PINGS! from all my peeps who were out. As if that one no do, they had to taunt me with pictures on BBM.

Saturday

So many activities lined up today but i was able to achieve a handful. Went to see a match between MTN and Etisalat as my friends play for team Etisalat total bore fest, Match ended 0-0. Owo's wedding was today, picked up Buga and decided to pick Ms. Coco as she was available and willing to tag along 2nd date on the cheap toh bad. Wedding was fun as it gave me the opportunity of meeting old class mates as well as eating free food. 

Left the wedding, changed in the car and hit the streets, next stop Jade's BBQ, omo the whole of twitter Lagos was there o, no space to park sef *Thank God for my shanko Piccanto, i was able to perch in one tiny koro*. Said my hellos to the celebrant damn she's tall as well as buncha old friends. Next stop was debonaires, had pizza with friends and Ms. Coco.......good thing is they get along well is this a sign?. 

Dropped her off at home and same thing that happened the previous night repeated itself even when i planned to go out with awon boys again. 

Sunday

Church day, long time coming as i never attended church since i returned to Abuja. The sermon was on point. Saw the old man briefly before the man starts thinking i don't send him not as if i really do. Packed my baggage for my return to my very own sin city when i got the text that my flight has been canceled. Had to go to the airport to change my flight and used that opportunity to see Ms. Coco again u go fear close marking. Hung out with her for a bit, had kiss mix and crashed after that. 

Watched Didier Drogba rape Arsenal, scoring his 13th goal in as many matches, hanged out with the boys, saw 2 of my followers later on and hit the sheets, early flight on Monday.

Had a great time in Gidi even though i didn't have enough time to hang out with friends Blame it on Ms. Coco

P.S.

I still won't proof read ma shit, gbagaun it, na una sabi. 

Try and leave a comment....most of u just come here to do amebo

THE SKILLA DIARIES VI

Monday is here again and my table is packed like a murrafucker! wish i didn't have to work, but someone/something's gotta a pay the bills. I should be writing a report and not blogging. Last week/weekend  wasn't bad, had its ups and downs, can't complain either way cos i'm always grateful to God in any situation i find myself. That said hope y'all said a prayer today.

Thursday: BYOB .....Might sound fictitious but most of this is true (LOL)

Did BYOB at Play with CFC, BJ and Lolz, we were late and we had to drop our BIG bottle of Ace of Spades Kasapreko Alomo Bitters in the car. Picked up Yellow Sisi afterward. Just might do a short post on her (Yellow Sisi) when i'm more relaxed and less busy.  Like every other Thursday, the place was packed with  the usual suspects. Saw our ex-female flatmates MB and Tillz (just might do a short story on them as well) accompanied by MB's friend/namesake the babe na 16wheeler, you go fear orobo.  i named her MB2

Had a few shots of JD and tequila paraga and opa eyin at the bar and the evil child in me crept out, even though i tried not to get drunk cos i was driving, i got high in no time grinding on the dance floor with any babe sabi or no sabi "baba o raye mehn" no time. For some reason i'm yet to fathom shayo na bastard i decided to leave all the fine lepa babes for MB2 aka 16wheeler, that babe sabi grind and yours truly teba sibe mehn will never shy away from a herculean challenge. Na so i dey dance with her o amidst the quizzical looks from some of my jealous female friends that wanted to dance with me, till one of dem decided to drag me away from MB2....fight for break out o! if not for my diplomatic appeal to both parties  deep down i wanted to see bras and patas torn. I'm a bad guy like that. Some of the activities that went on have been left out sha *no animals were hurt tho*

After the small drama, decided to head home around 2:00AM, work dey the following day and i wasn't ready to doze of at any given time, called madam to clear a few issues when i got home to see if we could patch things up based on the advise of a mutual friend. That didn't go well but at least we can still be friends. Ended up sleeping at 3:30AM. Woke up at 7:00AM with a hangover, spent 30mins in Life Camp traffic, *kmft* got to work and all i could think of was bed.

Funny thing happened though on my way to work, phone was in my pocket, mistakenly dialed madam *last call* which went to her voice-mail  and recorded the conversation i had with BJ in the car explains the missing credit on my phone. She called me later to say i left a voice-mail and the look on my face was like 0_o cos i don't remember calling her after my previous call....she listened to it, called me back on skype and had this evil grin on her face.....i wasn't really bothered till she mentioned a few lines from the convo and my reaction turned to //0_0\\  YEPA!!!!WTF!!!!. If you've heard me and BJ converse, you'll look at us, shake ur head and probably say *awon boys yii o gbadun*, this was one of those silly convos. Begged her to send me the recording but she refused women and shakara. She said she was gonna post it on 4shared and share the link on twitter, i hope she doesn't sha

Rest of the weekend

The weekend was uneventful, didn't go out even when i got numerous calls from people awon alai ni nkan se inviting me for drinks and other activities that comes with the weekend. Helped my home boy move his stuff to his new place, had a flat tyre *which really got to me*. Played FIFA' 10 and beat the shit outta everyone who stepped to me, got extra chicken and chips from SFC omo dem maga, and that's about it.

Lagos.....

Lagos beckons this weekend even though it's looking like PH *work matter* i know i'll wriggle my way out of this one artful dodger l'omo. I never even reach the Lagos and activities don line up no thanks to awon boys. I'm supposed to have a date with Ms. Coco who i have been pinging and calling for a few days now. Interesting lady she is by the way, i think i like her, let's hope she likes me sha. My fear is i might have to rope her into my many many waka hope that doesn't happen.

I'm sure gonna have a few tales to tell after this coming weekend cos the way things are looking, only a word can describe it LEGEN.......wait for it......DARY. Have to go now, too much work on my table, i wonder how i squeezed in time to write this sef.

Have a great week


P.S.
Thou shall not gbagaun this post....una suppose don know me, i no dey proof read shit! Ok Bye!

THE SKILLA DIARIES V

WORK
Don't you just hate it when you wanna get a job done and ur boss is against your decision of a particular choice of vendor cos of personal biff....that's the kinda sticky situation i've found myself......won't go into details cos that will be unethical. Like that ain't enough, the office internet is going funny.....enough of work already *sigh*

LIFE
Moving on can be difficult but when the other party shows how easy it is for them to do, you get the message....i think i've gotten the message......but my mind keeps playing tricks on me as bad guy thought in my head says "break all links/connections, no time for dulling" but the halo wearing conscience says "try and be friends, u never know when u'll need her"....i'm torn between the thoughts in my head, i think i'll go for the latter sha.....


PSA
It's funny how people send subliminal messages, not as if i don't do it but i'll rather tell you stuff rather than hide behind a message....if you know me well, you should know i don't usually give a fuck about stuff and i don't hold grudges.....move the fuck on!not as if i have sha *This is a subliminal...LWKMD*

........
Looking forward to Lagos next weekend.....i'm gonna make the best outta those 2-3days there, probably get layed if i'm lucky.....been too long sef body don full ......Anyways ain't really got much to type, maybe i'll get inspiration after BYOB tomorrow

Midnight Blues.....THE SKILLA DIARIES V

Laying down on this bed and the mosquitoes in this room are having a ball ni sha...dem no get the memo say I just finish malaria medication ni?

Note to Mosquitoes: No credit "blood" today, come ....NEVER!

As sleep no gree come, I decided to update my diary and the 1st and easiest thing that came to mind was my relationship status.....now lemme bore u......


So it's over between me and madam.....or is it?


The chocolate and the card saying "I'm sorry, I love you and I really miss you" finally got to her on wednesday via my over-procrastinating cuz , she was surprised *so she says* She called to say thanks and all....blablabla. I thought that was gonna soften her heart and make her come back to me, how wrong I was! Babe had moved on *no time* for dull boys, she's been on dates sef and found a replacement for me sharpish with me still moping and hoping she'll come around chasing potential replacements away *FML*.

Tried talking her out of it saying I would wait, but the way things are, seems the replacement's doing a pretty good job of easing me outta her heart. It really hurts make I no lie knowing there's someone else. It's like a dead man watching his wife marry another man just 2weeks after his demise. Well she had to choose between her present happiness and future we planned together, well she chose the former which she doesn't regret. I was also made to understand "sometimes just coz you love someone doesn't mean you guys work as a unit together"......mi o le para mi mehn even though I'm yet to come to terms with this reality

Don't no whether I should be mad at myself or laugh at my stupidity for thinking I found love, maybe I did, maybe I didn't, maybe I just went looking for it in the wrong places....I blame myself all the same, I find it easy to trust which automatically makes it easy for me to fall in love *call me a sucker for love* . So I made a mistake *who doesn't*, I apologized but I guess u got tired of my apologies cos I keep making the same mistakes. I am who I am and I can't change myself for anyone, guess she couldn't take me for who I was...my friends know I've got the attitude of "the devil you know" rather than the "unknown angel". That way I get away with a lot of things, guess that didn't work for her sha.....sleep don dey knock my gate

Big shout out to my friends and family for keeping me in check with words of advise and support, I love you lot to pieces and I'm sure I'll do the same for you, if you ever find yourself in any sticky situation.

Its Monday already....have a great week peeps

P.S...I never proof read my shit plus its midnight, no calling out of gbagauns and typos okbye!

THE SKILLA Diaries IV

So i've been battling with malaria all week but decided not to use medications till the weekend comes, didn't wanna be feeling all drowsy at work and all.

WORK

It's my 2nd week on the new job and i'm feeling all the pressure, it's damn to early and God knows i ain't no quitter, imma ride the storm and take the bull by its horns. Making decisions and managing people isn't as easy as it seems, be appreciative of your boss even though it looks like he ain't doing shit.

Boss is a nicotine addict like me but his own addiction pass my own....always coming after my supplies when he's out. Got a tongue lashing from him yesterday saying i need to carry myself like the boss in the office and control the subordinates e no easy o!. Got a few reports i need to turn in and i hope twitter and BBM doesn't distract me much.

LOVE LIFE

Well the package got to madam and she was surprised and knocked off her perch for a bit. Big shout out to my cuz Ola who made the delivery. She called to say thank you though and nothing more WOMEN!!!. Talked for a while and i can say we're cool but definitely not an item unless i wanna wait for her...... cos some dude *beleja yon* (helper) i nicknamed is now in the picture nigger was waiting for me to get outta the picture. I'll survive sha *sigh*. Told a few friends and family and before i could say jack omo u go fear the way dem dey PIMP girls to me.......anyways i was introduced to a girl and i shall call her Coco cos she's black and reminds me of chocolate + she's a sweet girl too.

I'm not gonna rush things with Coco like i did with madam, we're getting to know each other better on BBM at the moment. Can't conclude anything till i meet her in person. She's currently in Lagos and i hope to meet her in 2weeks.

LIFE
This week was a bore o jare, hope my next post will be interesting.....no motivation whatsoever to update this blog.....Goodluck Jonathan declared even though i believe IBB will still defeat him in the PDP Primaries.

Hitting a Lady...Hannington_Lerato_Gate

So i'm scrolling thru my TL out of boredom as NEPA took light and there was nothing to do but fiddle with my BB and Uber then something caught my eye....Hannington hit Lerato, na so i alert flatmates, put on the generator with the claro fuel left in the tank to catch a glimpse of what's happening in the BBA Barn....All i saw was Hanny apologizing and crying crocodile tears. Left to me, he should be kicked out of the house or leave gracefully but i doubt if he'll survive a day in SA cos those guys will hunt him down and tidy him.

Come in Madam Paloma aka Sarafina with a story to tell about how her cousin died from domestic violence, i got her point but did she have to make the issue about her? *kmft* plus the blood she said was spilled on her was probably the contents of the drink Lerato was holding. IMO she was just aggravating the issue with her shouting and activity forming........Hanny fucked up big time no doubt but why do ladies like provoking men?

Watched the video online and my conclusion is all the barn mates are standard bastards! they could have averted the situation.....Sheila excluded sha cos she gave Hanny the talk and was so on point. You can watch the video right on top of this post


I've had my fair share of being close to hitting a woman, i think this happened sometime early last year, was chilling with colleagues from work at wine shop when we all started dissing each other...trust me with my bad mouth, i no dey carry last....the babe (a colleague) went too far and as the bad guy i was, me sef go the extra mile. The thing pained her so much she splashed her drink on my face like that wasn't enough she gave me ifoti toh gbona a resounding slap........my instincts and adrenaline almost messed me up cos i for give the babe better shoryuken followed by hurricane kick *Ken or Ryu style*. I didn't do shit, i just walked away when i thought of the consequences of my action.

Honestly though, if she had followed me when i was walking away i probably would have hit her, well maybe give her a proper shaking or something cos i can't picture myself hitting a lady but u never can tell, there might be a little Chris Breezy in me. She came back a few days later and apologized....i forgave her and funny enough i forgot not until the fight in the barn came up.

Anyways gotta go to work now......twas nice sharing with u

P.S
I repeat, i no dey proof-read my posts, gbagaun at ur expense Ok Bye!

Rocaholic Stories SLU...ssh All Black Everything II ......THE SKILLA DIARIES III

Saturday...Sept 11

Woke up still feeling a lil bit down, tried using drugs but i threw up immediately the thing entered my mouth....i was determined in Kanu's voice to go for SLU...ssh ABE whether fit or not.....Slept for most of the day and Bolo decided to ditch me at the 11th hour when it was time to head out. That didn't deter me, i put on my all black apparel black boxers, black singlet, black shirt, black socks, black yansh, black blazer, black shokoto and black GSGs (Go Slow Goggles) to compliment in fact i be like shadow and headed to rocaholic's crib...Dude was still wasting time mulling on what to wear ni sha...i forgave him for wasting my time

We decided to make a quick stop @ DOA's crib where we met him, his sis and cuz doing shots of vodka, me i joined in o unfortunately i haven't learned my lesson of not rushing alcohol....4shots back to back and i assure u that was when my malaria disappeared. Picked up an extra lady in Garki II before we headed for play......

We got there right on time as the PWAN Entourage was entering, the bouncers didn't even check our names on the guest list, just wove us in like the rockstars we are while blocking a bevy of chicks at the entrance........by this time i was semi-high, no thanks to the rushed shots of vodka at DOA's. CFC came 5mins later and we ordered our 1st bottle of JD...i should av insisted on vodka but i decided to mix and knock......partied hard and before i could say shokolokobangoshe another bottle of JD was on the table.

The EME Crew (Banky W, Whizkid and Skales) performed to a few of their hits was too high to remember which songs @timmyjibe my ever gingered wingman was there to sing along and party like the party animal he is. Danced with one random kele fine yellow something shame i didn't get her number sha.....one of my female followers on twitter promised to arrange through pass later in the week.

The 3rd bottle of JD arove arrived, na then i know say boys are not smiling again, decided to head to Aristotle, bottle under armpit with DOA and the rocaholic.....the rest i do not remember *baba haf passed out* heard i talked down one of of the bouncers for not letting some of my friends in....TK my good friend had to resolve this...blablabla yadi yadi yadi....blablabla....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!!!.

Sunday.....

Woke up at 2:30PM, didn't get up from the bed till 4:00PM *hangover toh quality*. Worked on a presentation that was due on the following day and slept some more........ I can proudly say the weekend wasn't wasted Big ups to @Nobsdaslushkid, SLU...ssh All Black Everything Party was on point plus i got to meet a few tweeps.

Monday

Brand new week and the subordinates are already getting on my nerves, they give a new meaning to inefficiency. Even me with all my twitter hours do more than they do........

P.S

• I for upload pictures but i know how some of you peeps like your privacy

• T'was nice boring yall with my post......and if u like gbagaun me cos i no dey proof-read jack, is it your blog? Ok Bye!

Rocaholic Stories.......... THE SKILLA DIARIES II

ROCAHOLIC V 0.84

Wednesday

The weekend came early *Wednesday to be precise*, we decided to do it light so me and the flat mates decided to hit Lounge at Silverbird still in our office gear, suit and all, had a few drinks before Mr. Elebolo joined us with 4 ladies, before I could mutter shogologobangoshe! Boys don do sharing formula which left me caressing my bottle of Heineken while they chatted up with the spoils of the sharing, not as if I minded sha. GTB yellow called me inviting me to a birthday party….we decided to hit Fuzion (all 9 of us 5boys 4girls). When we got there, we be like rent-a-crowd as the place was a bit dulling. GTB yellow was looking fly with her bum shorts and things but she kept cramping my style with any girl I tried to chat up *u go think say na my gf* God go come catch her when CFC (Chairman From China) came round and she was drooling all over him…trust me, me sef begin dey burn cable.

Left the party for about an hour for an unusual meeting at 2:00AM…only in Abuja *smh* but who cares? So far money is made and I hope and pray this particular meeting yield better……Joined the crew later and the party had hit full swing and Mr. Elebolo decided he ain’t leaving till the free supply of booze stops. The booze eventually stopped coming and we decided to hit Aqua, the bouncer didn’t waste time by letting us in *the power of SUITING UP…big ups to Barney Stinson of HIMYM* usually the fucktards act a fool at the entrance, not tonight tho. The pole dancers were doing their thing in their bikinis, danced a lil bit, had a few cocktails. As men don do sharing formula me I just dey look at the pole dancers’ dey catch my own trips while Mr. Elebolo was getting a lap dance, CFC was feeling all macho carrying his mata, Okelele was grinding with his own mata in one koro while the rest of us danced like regular human beings. Time to go home and awon boys were feeling lucky till one of the keles decided to go rogue insisting she wants to go home…….long and short Mr. Elebolo was the only lucky dude…I was having a laugh.

Thursday

Slept most of the day and if you’re resident in Abuja you’ll know it’s BYOB (Bring Your Own Bottle)…..got a call from an old flat mate around 10:00PM saying he’s @ Play and the place is packed …..Mr. Elebolo came thru around 11:15PM, picked up the same set of babes we hung with the previous night, hooked up with the original rocaholic aka Nuelz…..picked up Claire along the way and headed to Play…got there around 12:30AM and outside was still packed….how to get all 8 of us in was priority……we eventually got in strange enough with little or no stress *it pays to be a regular*.
Inside was packed like a muthafucker with pretty ladies (different shapes and sizes) spotted the iBlend crew immediately, hopped on the table with @timmyjibe and joined him rocaholic style while sipping on the maddest cocktails…big ups @eddieMadaki….good thing I was right in front of the AC so the whole heat didn’t get to me…………fight broke out at VIP….blablabla…….yadi yadi yadi…….blablabla…..

We sha left for Aqua and trust the bouncers, they wanted to go funny *I for SUIT UP hehehehe* we sha got in and for some reason I didn’t feel like partying….all I did was tweet and BB chat + occasional mocking of the pole dancers. Spotted Danny Shittu by the way….dude is humongous, even said hello to him…cool dude. He was all by himself dancing his sorrows out in front of the mirror *Bolton Wanderers released him I hear, hope he gets a better club*….only if all the hoes @ Aqua knew who he was, they’ll be all over him like ants on a sugar cone.

Got tired of Aqua and headed to SOHO, not without a quick stop at drumstix for sharwarma *boys dey H*…….the place was half full, attempted to dance but no inspiration whatsoever. Headed home and still the moon hasn’t been sighted for the Muslim brethren….na so boys do google search and alas the moon was sighted in Fiji Island…..talked to oneofmyfollowers while BJ did a strip tease for the ladies…..slept like a baby and decided to put this up.

Friday

Slept around 6:00AM and these dudes decided to wake me up with phone calls around 8:15AM…. i just grumbled and whispered many nonsense and kukuma quench my phone *no time* went back to bed till 10:30AM no thanks to BJ and Mr. Elebolo…..our friendly ex female flat mates came over to help with the cooking for Sallah ………….back to bed o jare…doubt if I’m going for the iBlend do tonight at ROMA but will most likely be at play tomorrow…ALL BLACK EVERYTHING something

P.S
I don’t edit or spell/gbagaun-check my posts #okbye!

Why would you stay

So one of my followers on twitter sent me a DM after reading my blog and said she knows how i feel and this song by Klem should convince madam to take me back..............not sure i know how to attach music clips to posts but below are lyrics to the song sha....call me a bush man, na una sabi. There's a download link at the bottom of the page tho

KEM - Why would you stay LYRICS

there's a light shining on you
and baby i'm trembling inside
loved a woman that i barely knew
i must have been out of my mind
oh i, i'll never hurt you again
girl i, i know you deserve a better man
hey i, i was a fool to ever let you down
so why would you stay?

woman i beg your forgiveness
and i'll do whatever it takes
and may the Lord be my witness
honey i never meant to treat you this way
sugar your heart has been broken
but i can still see true love shine in your eyes
when every word *has* been spoken


woman i'll love you for the rest of my life
oh i, i'll never hurt you again




Download the song on 4shared...here's the link: http://bit.ly/cqYoIH

State of affairs....THE SKILLA DIARIES I

WORK
Okay so i've been a freelance consultant for a few months long while.....it has its perks and all, the money is plenty but very irregular.....moved back to Lagos for a wee bit sef but i'm back in my very own SIN CITY thanks to the new job i just got *9-5 something* yuck. The Job Description is  huge but the pay ain't. Compensation i get is exposure to a new industry sector and experience. I pray and hope i kick ass, be the best at everything i do in this new office, so help me God.

Haven't had much to do, the boss is a cool dude *so far* we even have the same taste in music. Staff have been okay, no conflicts YET...bet they'll learn to accept me as their boss.

RELATIONSHIPS

If you've read my last set of posts, you should know the state of my relationship, she wants space can't help myself but give her all the space she wants. I sent her flowers and chocolates *dunno if she's gotten them.....doubt it sha*.

If she's mine, she'll be back in no time and if she ain't #OnToTheNextOne lon jebe.....difficult as it may seem, many have come, many have gone....i bet i'll survive but it's gonna be difficult....long and short i miss her *sigh*

Okay so i have a few ladies i've been eying by the side make i no lie but i doubt if i the balls to make it serious *no thanks to madam space*. The 1st one doesn't really have my time, the 2nd one i'm yet to fully figure out, 3rd is looking for something serious which i'm not ready for *u must crawl to walk, i no dey rush things*, the rest........let's just leave at this 3 for now cos dem plenty with my ashawo tendencies.

FRIENDS
God blessed me with the gift of making friends easily, that doesn't mean i make friends at every opportunity i get, don't wanna be attracting freaks *believe me i've met a few* . I wanna thank God for the friends he's given me. Most of my friends are scattered all over the world good thing there's  connectivity and mobile phones  so we still keep in touch.

Leaving Lagos was a bit hard for me as i've gotten used to hanging out with my peeps every weekend. i miss Fagbo tryna stop me from smoking by always pouring alcohol in my cigarette packs, Abudu and Jibola giving me advise not as if i take them, Segun flaring up for the silliest reasons, Obinna being an ass, Efun, Tobe not taking advise, Akinla for always disappearing, sharing cigarettes with Washpam, underG waka(s) with Jiboye, watching Channel 0 @ Bala's, Koko Lounging, Twitter hookups, stealing Kachi's modem and not returning it on time, Flirting with Ronike which never leads to anything, GET Arena karting with the boys, Pizza @ Debonaires afterwards..........the list of things i miss in Gidi is endless.

For my Gidi friends imma quote  Susan P. Schultz "Good friends must not always be together; It is the feeling of oneness when distant that proves a lasting friendship".

I'll be back in no time to share the good times with y'all


I still have friends in Abuja i'm returning to, gotta have to live with Abdul's TurnKey Project *inside joke*, Hassan the cripple *LMAO*, Bolaji and his controls, club hopping with Akin and Deji, Tare dragging me to church, swimming on Saturdays, BYOB on thursadays and many more i can't remember right now

Me and my Abuja fam

 

Standard Bastard and Bestie

Beering Diaries with Bala

Kigali Blues

i've also made new friends via twitter, i doubt if i wanna start mentioning them, they rock even though some of them are 2-faced bastards, i can live with that  though i mean what's life without having enemies.

What annoys me about peeps on twitter is they call you by your handle whenever they see you...they be like yo! @sheriphskills is that you? me: #AbijaShrug.  Some eediots even think my real name is Abija...like WTF!.


I still love all my followers all the same, they stand by me even when i clog their timelines with a whole lotta bullshit. Big Shout out to all 900+ followers, i love y'all



Got loads of pictures i would have put up but i'm just being lazy.
I LOVE my FRIENDS to death cos they got my back the same way i got theirs.

That's all for now, got work to do

P.S.
If i didn't mention u in this post, don't mean i don't acknowledge you #okbye!

same mistake

I'm trying to catch some sleep as I have an early day tomorrow *new job* (will talk about that later as soon as I'm settled)...but I can't help but keep thinking of madam, hoping and praying I haven't lost her. If you read my last post, you'll know who I'm talking about......

So I've been calling her for the past few days even though she asked for space and all but I can't help myself I'm weird like that....then she complained about my calls being strange and unusual *deep down I wanted to ask "why you dey vex? Is it your money" but I maintained my champion* :D

Talked to the big sis and a few close friends about the state of my mind and they all said the same thing even quoting the same lines *freaky*...."If love her, give her space and if you guys are meant to be, she'll be back".....I think that's what I'm finally gonna do. I'm gonna stop calling/pinging till I see her. I hope I survive sha.

...........Some of my friends know James Blunt's music plays a huge part in my love life, they can tell my mood and relationship status by which of his songs I'm listening to. Unfortunately there's no one around to listen to what I'm currently playing. "Same Mistake" is on repeat as I type this post. I can so relate to the lyrics of this song, only wish madam could relate to it as well.

a few lines of that song i can relate to at the moment......

Saw the world turning in my sheets and once again I cannot sleep..........
Remember rights that I did wrong, so here I go.........My mind is muddy but my heart is heavy. Does it show?
I lose the track that loses me......

And so I sent some men to fight, and one came back at dead of night, said he'd seen my enemy. Said he looked just like me. So I set out to cut myself and here I go.

I'M NOT CALLING FOR A SECOND CHANCE, I'M SCREAMING AT THE TOP OF MY VOICE,give me reason but don't give me choice, Cause I'll just make the same mistake again.

And maybe someday we will meet, and maybe talk and not just speak.
Don't buy the promises 'cause, there are no promises I keep and my reflection troubles me, so here I go.


At work now, ain't got time to edit/proof-read the post....if una like gbagaun am #isityourBLOGni?

Have a great week