SKILLA DIARIES - Cool Restaurants to take ur date on Vals

This is coming rather late, but work has been a female dog all morning. Before i proceed, kindly read the disclaimer notice below

Disclaimer Notice
All information in the post is mine to do with as I see fit and make such financial profit, political mileage, or good joke as it lends itself to. This post should be read only by those persons who want to or referred to by friends.  However, if the contents of this post make no sense whatsoever then you probably were not the intended recipient, or, you are a mindless cretin; either way, you should immediately delete yourself & destroy your computer! Once you have taken this action please contact me.. no you idiot, you cant use your computer, you just destroyed it, and by the way, you are also deleted, but i digress...... 
In the event that i did not send this link to you or were referred by a friend, then please return it to me and attach a scanned-in picture of your mothers brothers wife wearing nothing but pata alhaja, and i will immediately refund you exactly half of what you paid for the 4 wraps of amala you bought at white house yesterday which brings us to the post it self......

It's Valentine's day and you're wondering where you can take your loved one to? Have no fear, the voices in my head and i did a survey/review of cheap and affordable restaurants u can take that babe of yours. After all the babes of nowadays dey sing whether na N1, whether na N1000000 baby u go t me....and that my disclaimer piece was bland by the way......Enjoy the restaurant reviews


MamaPut

Mama Put aka Yakoyo aka Chop and Quench is doing Vals day promo with multiple outlets located abi na situated in every koro/lungu in Nigeria, u can never go wrong with their specialty in fried stew and assorted meat, ranging from ponmo, shaki, edo, fuku, ora, orisirisi...abbl (ati be be lo aka etc) Combined with amala, akpu, poundo, rice and dodo....Today, they are doing BOGOF (Buy One, Get One Free) as its a day of love and sharing.








HYE aka Have You Eat

The Banner says it all, they attend to all your needs. They normally close by 6pm but today as its lovers day, they have extended it to 10PM so u can enjoy a romantic candle lit (dem no get gen) dinner with your loved one






Karibu's

Karibu's the place to be if you like food, as in plenty food...as in mass produced food for refugee camp things....omo na chop and die as u can see from the banner. Located in a village not too far from yours. I can assure u if ur babe is anorexic, she shall be cured. Whats that if not love?  Spoke to the chief chef Hassan aka Morufu on whats their secret and all he said was they get their supplies from China and he was even happy to smile for the camera. They do take out, just call the number on the banner

Hassan ze Chef aka Morufu

Herpes Pizza

 So your friends are bragging that they took their babes to Debonnaires....do not despair, there's a new Pizza hut in town, located in downtown ajegunle, where u can get an amala flavored pizza for N300 with goat meat shredding and things...u can never go wrong...Impress Sikira, treat her to some Italian delicacy, make she sef quality. For every pizza u buy, u get one bottle of sharwarma and hot salad as its vals day....Hurry up and go to Herpes Pizza









Well these are the top 3 joints that made my list....i actually had 10 but i no get time write shit....u guys don't pay me, but these 3 lovely restaurants have offered me free food for putting them on the internet.

In other news i am still single and NO it's not because of valentine's day.......the picture below should explain

 

As Bruno Mars don sing, all the babes just dey believe....me wey nonchalant before...i never catch banger, na grenade i wan catch.....need to get back to work right now.....I had a blast this weekend and my body still aches....might put up a post tomorrow sha....

Happy Valentine's day and stay blessed

P.S.

USE PROTECTION

SKILLA DIARIES Another Disclaimer Notice

I wonder if i'll ever run outta ideas or websites to steal these notices, the voices in my head don't think so and @GriffinStreaks is here looking at me and shaking his head while i attempt to put up my next disclaimer here goes nothing:

Disclaimer Notice:
Please read all instructions and warnings before you proceed. Must be 18yrs of age or older to proceed any further. If you stumbled on this blog, do not dismay nor be frightened, the post below was not written in Morse Code and if you have a doubt, i can get Nicholas Cage in Wind Talkers to help you translate/decode it. If you haven't registered to vote, kindly do so before you read this post as the repercussions of not doing so are grave. You are most likely going to be raped by  rabies infested monkies if you do not vote. In no way was that last line sponsored by the protagonists of #RSVP and no its not Rice and Stew Very Plenty you glutton, its Register, Secure, Vote and Participate....hope i got that right. This disclaimer won't explode after you read it as secret agents all over the world have been warned to desist from such crude ways of communications. If you believe the World is gonna end on 21/05/2011 or believe everything you saw in the movie 2012, this post is not for you. If you lack a sense of humor, please move on or better still grow up unless you're Peter Pan and i'm sure it sucks wearing those green pants, don't go believing you're metro-sexual...dude, you're gay!.

This post is short sha......its confirmed, i'm becoming lazy or maybe i've been too busy....whichever way sha...i no get anything to write....i actually do sha....the weekend was filled with debauchery and alcohol laden acts.....Lemme see if i can recall sha.

Thursday
No karaoke.....Stadia office chilling with the adawa committee (They make many important decisions in this country believe it) sipping on Udeme and things till it was 10:30PM which signaled the time for BYOB at play....took a sharp detour at home to do #2 as my house no far from play....Got their and two bottles of absolut with many coca cola was on the table.....saw the usual suspects and the guzzling began....u go think say na water men dey drink as i no fit explain how the 1st bottle went down in 30mins.....sizing up the chicks in the club as na sausage-fest men as no abana (abana [a-ba-na] - noun: a girl, fine or not) dey our side.....i take that back....like 14 abanas where there forming activity....was still scoping one when NEPA struck....bastards took the light for like 30mins but people lock up, no waka.....i'm beginning to suspect Play has jazzed some of us.....power was restored and as if some evil spirit possessed everyone, we started dancing immediately the music started.......i really don't remember half of the shit that went down that night...i sha know i got home in one piece

Friday
Woke up late, was late for work.....mad hangover but a man's gotta make this paper....how i wish i was still collecting pocket money from the parents *sigh*....left work early and attempted to sleep but that wan no gree come....DJ managed to drag me to some party later that night but as body no be firewood, i retired on time 10:45PM to be precise....slept like a baby and vowed not to drink again i say this everytime.....

Saturday
After a loooooooong sleep from the previous night, i was determined to make the best outta the rest of my weekend...Headed to stadia for a few drinks as well as watch the games.....was still laffing at assanal's draw when those bastards at wolves decided to stop United's unbeaten run....imagine small relegation bound wolves *kmt*. Dante's birthday was the next day so we decided to party till he turns 21....yelz we're young like that....why do u think they call me and my friends young money....like duh!.....sha, we moved ourselves to the Caribbean wine cafe for weed spiked shisha, followed by 3bottles of absolut and 1JD....Seven Carina, GraffitiSticks, Frank Sushe, Joey Crack, Fazza, CFC, and many more peeps i'll rather not mention are guilty of falling those bottles.....moved to play and another bottle of vodka went down......the rest as i know is history, well not really sha....i remember a stolen kiss, someone professing love, someone dozing in the club, a lot of ass grabbing, an interesting conversation on my way home with Sushe which we have no idea of what we talked about the following day.....all i know is i got home in one piss....yup one piss, i took a piss in front of my gate and slept like a baby.....the end...opin sinima

SKILLA DIARIES

Disclaimer Notice 

The contents of this post are for the sole purpose of information, education and entertainment. This post was written under the influence of kasapreko alomo bitters mixed with schweppes bitter lemon also known as SHWALOMO COCKTAIL on a Tuesday morning at work. Yes, i like to get my drink on, keeps me focused on the job. If you think you know my boss and can snitch on my ass, i can trace your IP Address and come visit u with a can of whoop ass kicking.

Contents are for my use and may contain information that is confidential, privileged or unsuitable for overly sensitive persons with low self-esteem, no sense of humor or irrational religious beliefs or English lecturers seeking grammatical blunders. The persons and events in this post are purely fictional, any resemblance to actual persons, living, dead or reincarnated is purely coincidental and should not be inferred.  

You may distribute this post freely but may not make profit from it. Listen to your mom, eat your veggies and don't believe you're Popeye the Sailor man because you ate a can of Spinach, you just might get your ass kicked. Don't take candy from strangers or strange people, you never can tell, they might be kidnappers from MEND, be afraid if they do unless your parents are civil servants like mine, then you will be fine. If something in his post offends you, lighten up, get a life and move on. Terms are subject to change without notice. All decisions are final! This supersedes all previous notices.

This disclaimer does not cover misuse, accidents, tsunami, volcanic eruptions, earthquake, lightening, tornado, hurricanes, or other acts of God, because the BIG guy up there does everything for a reason and if for any reason you're on the dark side and i don't mean the Sith in the Star Wars chronicles, take it up with him and I assure you, you are OYO and i don't mean the state where you have to fight a lion to guard your family honor, coming out with scars of victory, i meant ON YOUR OWN like duh!

Again this message represents the official view of the voices in my head and oh yes, i have been able to identify some of the voices, cool dudes i tell you, you should meet them. I won't be held liable for any actions taken after reading. Thank you.

This disclaimer may not be copied or reproduced in any form without the expressed written consent of whoever I stole it from.

Warning: Actual Post is boring 

 

So after my last post review from friends, foes and family alike, they all came to the conclusion that i am not OK and i have finally lost it......i beg to differ though, i am very much okay and if you don't agree with me, you can grab your Mary K makeup kit and go give facebook a makeover.....as if y'all weren't entertained...even oyinbo man faraway in Greece dey laugh the post, why? cos he has a great sense of humor.....and if u still don't get it, go to Jabi Lake with a mop and help the ecology by ridding it of the over-spill with ya mop  .........anyways i don't know what i wanna put up this time seeing i put a lil bit of effort on the disclaimer notice....i guess i should just tell you how my weekend before the last went down

So i went for a birthday party and had the opportunity to try on my new suit from Pierre Cardin i am GQ like that as you can see in my picture below. Even asked the mirror on the wall, only for the fucktard to tell me "Google is Your Friend"......bastard mirror, changing him soon i reckon. Maybe i'll just buy a yoruba speaking agbero mirror, i hear they know how to sing ones praise

Mirror, Mirror On The Wall, Whos is The Flyest of Them All?

By the way, the event took place at the prestigious Hilton Hotel in Ajegunle plus it was strictly by invitation

AJ Hilton Foyer

 It was only courteous of me to get the celebrant a cake which i did from the best bakery in the whole wide world L'Agege, bromate filled, high on carbs with no nutritional value whatsoever. There was also ewa agoyin to go with the cake as "man can't live by bread alone"

Birthday Cake

The guests at the party did their usual African timing wahala, they started trooping as soon as it was 3hrs past the specified time and before you could say shokolokobangoshe, the place was packed to the brim with both peoples and stars, shayo everywhere and a few celebs i was able to get pictures of;

Brangelina

Kanye's Mom

 

Breezi aka Fadeyi Oloro

Drunkn Munky

 

I couldn't get enough picture of the other notable guests as my bb died. The party was in full swing, drinks everywhere, dancing competitions, chit-chat and thingz, a fight broke out by the way and i was lucky to get a picture of the brawlers......below are some of the pics i took before my phone pai sha...

See as these babes dey boogie down...this was the skonto competition

This was the dude that won the alanta competition, he beat @thetoolsman only cos he could make an alanta shit face and my boy toolz was too tush to mean mug

The host treated us to sea pork and we were also given foreign ororo as take away

Blackberry Saga: @Preshus89 vs @Rondo_Jewel fight that almost ended the party

This dude just dey tiff drinks up an down, i'm sure he got the bad habit from going to BYOB at play on Thursdays

This is pure laziness in my part ....i'm not paid to write this shit, so i can as well end this post here.......at least i put a lil effort on the disclaimer bit......have work to do now....BYE

Have a great week