SKILLA DIARIES XX: Abuja-Gidi Something

Haven't updated this blog in 2weeks, complacency setting in or i just don't have time? Who knows?.....Last week was interesting o! Nobs Memoirs kinda interesting but my liver never reach share the details.....i was ill too for 4 straight days and i couldn't drink alcohol which made my ginger level drop drastically.....make i just summarize every

Tuesday or Wednesday (not sure): I met @DizzyDami for the 1st time along side BamBam and the 4eyedMonk at Cafe 24 before heading to a birthday party at Code...same Abuja crowd were there to grace the occasion fucking small town kmt Alcohol choke for that party sha.....couldn't dance cos i was wearing shorts and i couldn't afford grinding on a chic with my pata washing tool has a mind of its own rising to the occasion how embarrassing could that get? So i maintained my champion and sat jejely in one koro gisting with Q and @Sfladipo till my people were ready to leave.....#inothernews: DizzyDami and Bambam sure know how to whine their waists sha....ahan!

Thursday: Did i mention i had 2 house guests (females A and N *very courageous chicks o!"Yoruba translation") earlier....i doubt....back to the gist....my guests were at home when i got in from stadia i go there everyday now *smh* so i  invited them for karaoke but it seems they had other plans....T-Mak and Faruq later came to pick me up but we had a quick stop at Sharwarma King man must whack while waiting, i got a call from A asking me to get Cranberry Juice as there was a bottle of Vodka at home.....i thought it was gonna be a brief drop till T-Mak and Faruq saw A  and N.....these boys are just pure randy! Before i could say gheungheun....boys don dey get all frisky, na hin mini-BYOB start, shame i couldn't join in as i was on meds. Miss N later showed up, she just came in from lagos....yep she's endowed too...Mr. Switch also joined the group later....my small BQ turned to VIP in a matter of 30mins..music blasting from DJ Lappy....we decided to go for BYOB after the bottle of Absolut was down to the last drop.....BYOB was fun sha....even in my weak state, i was able to groove utunu! the ashawo in me no gree sick with the way i was grinding and thingz....Got home and the party continued....the rest they say my friend, is Tales by Moonlight

Friday: Ajala mode - Check....Lagos beckons, i ja'd from the office for the year. Flight was delayed by an hour or so....Lagos and traffic are synonyms i tell you, check ya thesaurus if i'm lying. Had to take a bike from the airport to meet momsy's driver at AVM Church cos of the standstill caused by our presido GEJ. Got home with Buga and Mr. Awesome waiting for me, hailed the fam and set out immediately....did a lil shopping, picked up CFC and Duli and got back to Buga's...Ganja was already waiting for us..... 5mins later, Incredible Hustle pulled up in a space bus filled with chics az in! Na theire ginger begin dey spread for body....we sha headed out, 1st stop was Rehab aka Milo Last kid standing....they had a guest list something, then volar...same thing...Marquee was full oh as all the innit and wazzup people were in town, we later stopped at NewsCafe for cocktails as well as enjoy the view if u see some yanshes ehn! We returned to Marquee after scaling the bouncers at the elevators only for the bouncers at the door bounce us, na so me sef enter my "innit - mode" when i spray all the phonee wey i sabi finish i get 3siblings for london jand, no be mistake, one of the managers heard and believed in the gospel, even castigated the bouncers....all on top say i speak phonee on behalf of my siblings wonders shall never end. Upon all i still do shakara commot immediately to go join Incredible Hustle and his bevy of chicks at Bacchus. Bacchus bouncers sef wan go funny but Alhaji Aliyu Mai-Bornu and Dr. Clement Isong google if u no sabi who dem be did the trick and we joined in. There was this particular chic that was grinding on me all night till i heard her age! omo i was shocked o...if no be say education, i go fit born her...sat down in one koro the rest of the night sipping on whiskey till we were ready to leave.

Saturday: My Saturday was already packed with events;

• 5weddings
• High School reunion
• Mr. Awesome's birthday
• FunturfSoccerFieta2
• Twiterave
• GTB 20th Anniversary

i'm not sure if that's the complete list of activities lined up for that day but this is all i remember. Can u guess how many i attended? google is your friend. Didn't wake up till 4pm so the weddings were out of it, reunion was in ikeja so that too was struck out. Picked up Mr. Awesome and Buga for our remaining waka on the island, the traffic na die o, had a late lunch and gt to funturf around 7pm only for those clowns asking a whole moi to come and pay 2k i be alaroro for event wey go end in 30mins dem papa hung out outside, bumped into a few followers and friends before heading to the palms for dinner chinese something as per Mr. Awesome's baiday....next stop was GTB's anniversary, 4 passes, 16people....omo necessity is the mother of all inventions o jare, long story short, the 4passes went round...shout out to @thetoolsman and @awizii for this. The GTB do was on point with top notch performances from Wande C, Dr. Sid, Jesse Jags. Ikechuckwu's performance was just there as well as Tuface's. Highlight of the night was that comedian that partnered with Basket Mouth Sidi John or something....dude cracked me up make i no lie. Final stop was Twiterave make e no be like say person no reach there plus we were looking for food. Got there feeling like a bad guy as i was assured my name was on the guest list...only for the bouncers asking for pass...i'm like dude...isn't it a guest list something?....i no wan long am i just waka go my house go crash.......food kuku dey house.


Sunday: So a couple of friends almost drowned at the beach the previous weekend and vowed never to go to the beach again.....but it was BYOB Bring Your Own Banger organized by my bestie and her friends as well as @Lydae_Tee's Fresh Fish!!! baiday. I was able to drag Buga and Mr. Awesome out and promised not to get close to the water......summary = it was fun, hung out with a lt of fun peeps .....that is all.


Monday/Tuesday: Got a mail from the boss, flew in to abuja at the nick of time on Tuesday and it looks like i might be spending xmas here as well....to think i've already planned my weekend in gidi...*kmft*...no #ReEvolveTheParty and Koko Concert on Friday, BBQ at Ade's on Saturday, #Underground and ABE on Sunday, House Parties on Monday and Tuesday for me....i'm so frigging burnt....well, on the bright side, i still have my fellow roastos in abuja....we shall make the best of this holiday...........that's about it

Tips on hitch free clubbing in gidi (IMO):

• Have a pot belly
• Have money sticking out on either sides of your pocket
• Your swag has to be on point
• Know all the bouncers
• Tip heavily
• Know managers of the clubs/bar
• Dress like its your baiday
• Most IMPORTANTLY, be  "innit compliant"

I still prefer clubbing in Abuja to Gidi hands down except for that fucker called Oscar at Aqua!

P.S.
Happy Holidays, gbagaun all you can, i ain't mad atcha

The Numbers Game on Twitter

The numbers game took place on twitter on Tuesday the 7th of December 2010.....why am i even blogging about it sef? Maybe boredom or maybe cos i have a lot of time....The game is like the honesty box app on facebook....shasha the whole idea is to post on your wall this message: "Pick a number from 1-200000 and DM only that Number & I'll tweet what i really think about you with your number" After which your followers will send u DMs with a number they choose aftter which u tweet the number and say how/what u feel about the follower..... You sha get the whole gist...didn't know what i was getting myself into so silly chose a random #127 and decided to DM random people on my TL playing the Numbers Game.....Long and short is i got over 120DMs, 30 of which my replies weren't honest cos i didn't know much about them, ther rest was me flirting...yelz i'm an ashawo like that..........anyways i was able to track some of my replies from DM's i sent out and here's what they all had to say with my response in italics 

@gigachic

#127 the sluttiest dancer I've ever met! I hated u after I read a few tweets! But when I met u I fell in love, you're the life of the party! - i'm no slut plix...life of the party sha...maybe sometimes

@Missmisan

#127 you're so playful and I wonder if u ever get angry.u're kind,sweet and really cool. - i need to slow my roll on playing too much and i do get angry, its just rare....temper's too precious to lose

@SvelteTwampire 

#127: i wish i met u b4 i left 9ja- we woulda been great friends. i think u're funny and u use that to make pple around u happy sure we would have, you go come back naija eventually

@MissYxclusive 

#127 - AH! 1st time u ff'd me, u just unleashed some terrifyin sub insults to whoever! Lmao! but ur wahala neva near me! Lol! ur cool tho :) - i assure you, it won't near you....you're good people :D

@AlterEgoAdey

#127 Ur a real bad goiz and mad funny. Chop Knuckle - Chop knuckle right back man

@dhebbur 

#127 LMAO! EDonDeyMadtAbi?? Ashewo....Chimney..That na derogatory phrase...take it back!

@NerdyChique

127 from the little i know, you party hard!!!!! and you seem like a good person. hope we meet in Abj soon - party hard....*sometimes* good person...*maybe*...meeting you....*definitely

@migraine_boi

#127 na wayray! Period!! - And that makes you?

@lydde_coco 

#127 hmmmm i love u loads..words cnt even describe it...u r a TRUE frnd...dnt ever wanna loose u...but ya razz...:* - Love you too dear but i'm sure you know "Razz is the new Cool"...

@exschoolnerd

#127 i dont even know y we r not close sef... If u knew me..as in rili knew me.. And i knew u.. I think we'd b really close - Laide 'iyawo drake.....guessing it's the distance, will soon move back sha

@iloveschwarz 

#127 I think you're extremely funny and witty...I wanna kiss u!.hehehe!.btw I love your taste in chocolates and alcohol..send you digits!.:* You've got a nice attitude...i like

@Tkamz

127. But u knw ur not OK sha. You've become a good friend and lagos misses u! -OluwaPoutessa Ibeji i am very OK jor...i just do what eccentric people do ni, i Miss Lagos too

@AEeDIble

#127 Fantastic Dancer! i'd love to dance with you sometime *winks* - i don't dance again o, i'm now into yansh grabbing

@je_mc2 

i forgot something: u DM'd with the number 127. please, please, stop smoking. :) - Yes sir...won't tell u the number of hours i've quit so as not to jinx it

@AssistantBF 

#127 ..One of the realest Murthafuckaz I met off Twitter! DUDE! U r tha Shiznit.. I got ur back any fuckin' time of day yo! Tuale! -i don't fuck people's mothers plix...got ur back to homey, quadruple tuale!

@AdesuwaO 

#127 ah ah...what he tweets is what u get..down to earth n real...but guy u short o.. *hops on bike n vrooms away*"- You don't say! because u take 2" tall pass me we no go hear word! hian!

@Yewinski

#127 You have a really great personality.... really funny and i love your blog. - Aww Thanks dear..u can refer your other friends too :D

@thomasscrown

#127 ashewo toh behd. U dey inspire my weyrei. We burn up d dancefloor cos we bad like that. Osha mor -Plix i'm not an asewo and you alone are responsible for your actions...see you soon, SB!

@FashionDivvah

#127 I'll never forget when we first met. You made an impression, you're funny, and seem real. It's always fun to be around you.- I'm glad i made an impression, look forward to meeting you again

@bimbuzzz

Ah bros #127, you made my weekend! - You're welcome, anything for an aburo

@MizzAina

#127 I call u "psycho igo maltina", don't ask! Lol. I know beneath all d razness and craziness there's intelligence dt runs deep! :) -You 1st insult me, come put me on pedestal after...i 4give you

@OyeSmith 

#127 I don't really know u...u r on my TL quite a lot tho...u seem like cool peoples *chop knuckle n tinz* - now chopping the knuckle and tnz...LOL

@JibolaL 

#127 egbon!!! We dun talk much but I see your tweets and erin kan maa n kpami ku ni. Ori yin wa n be kpa! - Find ya egbon go front o jare...ma je ki erin kpa e ju...no go die o, all na wash wash

@Nobsdaslushhkid

#127 : I love your no bullshit nature & someday I hope to sit down and have proper biz discussion with you. We'll make it - Hope lunch go dey this discussion #nohomo and the tabs are on you :D...Hopefully something great will come out of the yarns

@deeod 

127...*sigh*...online and offline...great person...great kisser too...tehehe! -iBlush! will like to doo eet again sha....kai! i be ashawo

@MsNemah 

127- I wee not lie few months back In my book, u were a snub. Buh now I really want 2 meet with lovely side we should hang out soon: D -Honestly i'm intimidated by your height, if we're gonna hangout, na with crowd with mixture of heights...hehehehehe

@adahna

#541 Mr Streak i only know u r a friend, wingman, partner in crime and personal butcher to #127... Mgbo @Griffinstreaks?

@adahna

And oh ....one last thing #127 i want to touch ya bear bear.. (+_+) - Cut the bulk of it yday *sorry* i still have a goatie tho

hawtveebee

#127 nw ds is wan guy I rili lyk. Alwayz mks me up here. Cool much. Much luv I gat. Cm to lag jo. Kmt -You sha had to hiss after all the hailings *smh* Women!

@Nombricks 

#127 we definately hv 2 meet some day n get tipsy 'lol -Na only tipsy you wan get? you're definitely gonna gerrit on that day...LMYO

@sexysaka

#127 crazy dude with an I don't care attitude and fun to hang out with - I actually do care about my attitude *sometimes*

@ifyjones

127 u really was a fool inlove lmao!! but is ma budds man! i miss our unilag trips! n all d partys - i'll still be a fool in love if not for friends and James Blunt...hope to see you this holiday and party hard

@jiballzzz 

#127 omo iya #thatisall You said it all brethren!

@posh_en

#127, omg wat wld i say abt u . i love u ,i hate u and all d inbtws . but i got yr back .. u r so invited 4 my buffday ..riri's forehead. - the feeling is mutual....i must to chop utunu! on ya baiday

@MsOsunsan 

#127 you seem like a crazy person. crazy in a good way. love your blog. maybe we wud meet eventually - depends on ur definition of crazy. Glad you like my blog

@Tilishoz 

#127 We'v bin tru sum tuff tym on a general bt all man ruff am. To think I tot I wld neva get used 2ur annoyin wayz,sumhow I miss U&d gang Was i really that annoying? :D I miss Woodcrest too

@MafabaAlaso

#127 very intrestin nd innovative TT developer but u craze BIG but in an intrestin nd chick 'cashin' way - hmm, never taught of it that way

@MizzTej

#127  my short, bald, ex friend. Am sure u expect me 2 say horrible things. Dunno what happened 2 our friendship bt I knw u r a great person -i'm taller than you and i ain't bald "yet"....will try and keep in touch often

@MizMaybach

#127 ur one of the few ppl I say I miss and I mean it.luff and miss u so much.see ya soon -i miss you too and you shall see me soon

@cyntinnet 

#127 great companion!There is heavy current moving around us but I intend to off d lite very soon :p!For safety reasons.-looks like i off'd the lite already "mistakenly"...only you can put it back on. i hope you do sha

@nubian_nike 

#127 I know u is a flirt, don't start what u can't finish - if i don't finish, there's this popular saying about he who runs, lives to fight another day....No?

@olaprettyjay

#127 all  knw is ur funny buh ow cme ​Ʋ neva say α̲̅ wrd2 mi on bbm...we nid2 du soin bou dt - too many contacts on bbm o, don't mind me, will keep in touch often

@ThePervNerd

#127 i hav stoppd smoking..hav u? #nohomo *straight face*

@Esshohay

#127 your ways are too correct....wen I grow up I will like 2 be like you....if u never grow up as u be so, wahala dey o...LOL

@sfladipo 

#127 you proved ur gentlemanly skills and I owe you! Btw I think you're pretty cool!!!- awww iBlush

@Temyoseny

#127 m kinda surprised u DMd me,wen l was new 2 twitter,u usd 2 tweet @ me nd vice versa but no more..nice meetn u tho!-No be only u o! i need to start tweeting at my old followers, sorry. Nice meeting u too

@ifreke 

#127 U wey put me on a long tin! I dey gbadun ur style sha! U be one person wey we go soon siddon gist together..! Big ups!! -Till that time come, you're still on a long. LOL

@TEMIDRE

#127 u r a guy I love(nohomo) bt u can lik to act lik a mad man sha. I love ur family too n I need u in gidi soon -this wan wey u love my family, i dn dey suspect you

@bolairabor 

127 u came along & I like u. Can't shag u cos u ar my friend & u undastand that. Thanks for been there wen I needed u - glad i was there for you...but errrm...u can still gerrit...LMAO

@moji_bank

#127 u r a crazy fellow bt we love u like dat!- Thank you o, Word Mole Shampion

@Miss_Ikaz 

#127 lol! Baba fun ara won! Ur tweets r not d u I kno!lol! I like ur person! D way u carry urself! Ur maturity level! Am glad I know u! :D - You probably met me on my serious days...just kidding

@GucciPinkLips

#127 my fake namesake that abandoned me *rme*, i like ur tweets and I think u're a very cool sumborri :) - how can i abandon my #abaversion namesake? i think you're cool too

@tommypearldee 

#127 Sometimes I wonder why you don't return my tweets - hayam STARS and not PEOPLES...iKid...probably didn't see them

This was all i could get, i'm sure i sent enough DMs and people had stuff to say. Game was fun all the same, shocked i got no negative comments....i know i don offend some people na..oh, they probably unfollowed me..heheheheh......gotta go now....no need to put P.S. at the end, bet y'all know the drill.

Have a nice day 

SKILLA DIARIES XIX

Thursday
My Thursday's kinda following a familiar pattern now, not that i'm complaining sha....this thursday wasn't any different....got off work....straight home, Rory joined me, watched Dexter for a bit....next stop, Stadia make e no be like say i no mark register. had a few pints of beer with the lads u go think say na London i dey Before heading to Cassalinda for Karaoke. Well There was a call to bar dinner going on but that didn't stop us from singing our hearts out.....before i forget, Rory was wearing bum shorts which drew the attention of most of the adults at Cassalinda...old men were ogling while the women were just shaking their heads and giving her *side eye*.....Usual suspects GTB Yellow and Giga couldn't make it for some reason or the other. Just when i was about to finish up my Duet with Rory....the whole Adawa committee came in...good thing the call to bar dinner was done with so there was enough seats for everyone. TMak came with a chick...Ms. K she can gerrit. Farouk came with a 16wheeler who can also gerrit, i no dey too discriminate. MsKunz, DZ, Bk and Bola later joined us....we had fun sha sha.........Next stop was BYOB....i mean what's a Thursday night without BYOB in Abuja? We got to play and entered in no time perks of being a regular Saw familiar faces and kolobied one koro in VIP.....I shall not go into details of the events of that night, all i can say is "It was LEGEN.....wait for it....DARY despite the heat. Talking about the heat sef, omo people no send o, it was like they were practicing how to adapt to hell ni sha.......i mean, you could take a N100 cab to hell in that heat.....considering most of the people at play that night were lawyers who just called to bar.....i'm sure the fare to hell will be slashed to 50kad no offense to lawyers sha but we all know most of u are hell bound......... It didn't deter some people from grinding, climbing tables/chairs etc.......There was this babe on the table beside me....she was dancing one kind erotic dance while the maga dude that brought her was pouring water on her....good thing she was wearing a white shirt and yours truly had ring side seats to the show......Saw Mady aka @ivorymanilov sef...who kept giving me "they eye" - that kind eye wey elders dey give pikin when pikin dey do bad thing not as if i was up to any good cos i was grinding all the girls around me u go think say na pepper.......so many things happened at BYOB that i can't remember blame it on shayo. Remembered tipping all the bouncers 5h each....omo nothing for them till next year!

Friday
I was chilling jejely in my lungu, playing FIFA'11 when TMak came to drag me to C24....bumped into @mallamsidi and One Ibo boy *i don forget him name*...... we were planning events for the night when TMak suggested a drink up at MsKunz....called Muzzle Top (Colleague from work) to help get vodka and JD on his way to C24 since he was close to Area2 (vodka na 2k2 jd na 4k5 for that zones)....shasha....the babes that were supposed to come for drink up dulled, giving us cock and bull story.........Anyways DOA's sis was invited for some pool party in Wuye....make e no be like say JD and Vodka waste, we decided to tag along mogbo/moya is my hobby. We decided to pick up a few friends (Jola, Bimbo, Debola and Bimbo's cousin) down the road at Silverspoon where i bumped into my old boss and ex colleague Sholz (Cool Guys)..... by the time we decided to take off, we don form convoy (5cars) Abuja people too like groove......we were 3minutes from Wuye when a call came in that the party has died........u go fear gone in 60s driving o....about turn back to play.....looking for a table in play no easy o....we were able to convince the bouncers to allow us into VIP, not the regular VIP (I must turn VIP by force VIP by the door VIP) we had fun sha...2bottles of JD, one Rose and i thought we'll call it a night.....nooooo CFC came in and had other plans.......we ended up at Aqua and bumped into an old flat mates  SuzieQ and KC along side some of their other friends ....if u see SuzieQ yansh ehn!! *sign of the cross* That's another story.......Before i could say jor o! i was handed a shot of tequila, lime and salt, make e no be like say i carry last, i down am straight to my ogo no time....small time CFC don hand me glass of something

"i have evil friends, they are hell bent on fucking my liver up whenever i go out with them"

By the time i drank whatever he gave me....i was gone, all i could remember was dancing with a FAT assed chic and she giving me her number.....the things we see in our inebriated state sigh! I sha got home in one piss, yelz i had to piss na.....

Saturday
Woke up at 4:13PM as in Nitori Olorun kilode! and vowed not to take any more alcohol till further notice. Asked Muzzle Top to get me food from CR as he was coming over, make man clear hangover for eye.....slept some more only to be awoken by DJ saying his office is having end of year party, i even help dress my guy up as fashion consultant *adjusts go slow bonez*.....at 1st i didn't wanna go but make e no be like say i no mingle with the many many oyinbo people wey dey him office and one of his fine colleagues was all the motivation i needed so as a very good bad guyz, i tagged along......omo oyinbo people sabi take care of dem selves o, open bar and buffet something  aka chop and quench. I kuku chop but i no quench as i was still recovering from last night's. Promised myself not to take alcohol even though it was staring at me koro koro....well i took a glass of champagne and that was it....Tmak and DOA later joined us sha.......My dressing up of DJ paid off as the paparazzi where all over him taking pictures and things bastard didn't deem it fit to gimme credit............moving on.....Nigerian babes are bastards sha....dem no even ja men face, na only oyinbo dem dey tasi ni sha... i no blame dem, God bless their hustle....Out of boredom, i went to get a pack of cigarettes and left it on the table only to go to the rest room and come back, my cigar don disappear and no one was owning up...as a bad guyz agbero i used style seize everybody phone for my table...the cigar surface sharpish under 30seconds awon BB addicts oshi. Held on to their phones for 5mins even after dem returned it

Dancing time: as bad ass stepper, all the oyinbos wanted to be affiliated with me sha, make e no come be like say me sef proud, i taught dem a few steps....na so DJ oga wife sef wan dey get jiggy with me fine baba kukuru l'omo but i consider my guy future so i no too press the yansh, just gave her light pressing cos the husband dey look me one kind, come resemble Dexter (the serial killer) join.....had fun all in all but i used style jaa cos the party moved to SOHO and there was no way i wasn't gonna drink...got home at 12:30AM but didn't sleep till like 5:00AM.............this post for long pass this if i had attempted to go into details...#okbye

P.S
I no send you...it is my blog and i can gbagaun/misspell all i want. Thank You

Signed: Management 

SKILLA DIARIES XVIII: End of the year Prayers

So i woke up this morning to a barrage of happy new month BBM messages and decided to reply all of them cos usually delete broadcasts even before reading them. One of the messages caught my attention and I decided to share as the prayers were powerful. The prayer's quite lengthy but had to re-broadcast, even tweeted in bits and pieces cos this wan pass 140 characters. Naija people like prayer sha, I got over 70amens and thank yous which is a lot as well as numerous RTs on twitter. Some of my followers even thought my Blackberry as probably stolen considering my avatar na babalawo and things dey dia.

Below is the message: 

Happy New Month..The glory & grace of God that has brought you this far will see you through to the end of the year..As He has ushered you into the last month of the year,I prophesy that this is the month you breakthrough every wall,every barrier,every limitation,every uncertainty in your life/situation..That by virtue of the reason of this season,many will gather with you from far & near to laugh & celebrate His goodness to you..Every seed you have sown in faith in the Lord from january through november,as you have trusted that He is Lord,& there is nothing too hard for Him (Jer 32:27)..Therefore,this is the month you will experience fruitfulness & will reap & harvest bountifully..For many things I rejoice on your behalf,by the most important of them all is that you have found favor in His sight..I pray that because you have found favor with Him, you will experience Him in a way you have never before..The glory of His presence will never leave you,the Power of His touch will rest upon your life..He will open the windows of heaven to you & pour out blessings that will surpass what you've experience the last 11 months combined..There will be more blessings than you have room for in your life..He will rebuke devourers for your sake,& He shall not destroy the fruits of your ground,neither shall your vine cast her fruits before the time (Mal. 3:10-11)..My God will continue to supply your needs,He will continue to uphold you with His right hand of righteousness,He will preserve your going out & coming in,He will avert every danger in your way,He will rise up in battle on your behalf,He shall fight for you,you will hold your peace (Ex. 14:14)..He has said, He will have mercy on whom He will,He will show compassion to whom He will,& so it is not he that wills or runs,but of God to show mercy (Rom 9:14-16)..My prayer is that His mercy & compassion that you have enjoyed from January to this point will not cease..He will command His angels concerning you. He willl make you fruitful,He will bless the works of your hand,He will reward the labor of your hard work,He will make you the head,never the tail,He will make you a lender,never a borrower..He will remember you & know your name..You will continue to find favor in His sight,He will put it in the hearts of men to favor you,He will raise divine helpers on your behalf..As many times as you call,He will hear you..As many times as you seek His face,you will find Him..My God will glorify you..He will lead you to the land of your rightful inheritance & drive away its unlawful occupants..The hand of the enemy shall not reach you because you bear the marks of Jesus (Gal. 6:17)..Every counsel of the enemy against you,He will cancel..Wherever your enemies gather or however many tongues rise against you in judgment,My God will send His fiery wrath & consume them..Your enemies will not have victory over you..Wherever they may be,far or near, you will catch up with them,overtake them & destroy them..Whosoever shall gather together against you,shall fall for thy sake (Isa 54:15)..Before you call,He will answer,before you speak,He will hear you (Isa 65:24)..As many as are your heart desires before Him,He will grant each & every one of them this month..He will give you an expected end as promised (Jer 29:11)..The power of the blood will speak for you..He will sanctify you & set you apart from many..No evil shall befall you & your household..He is the covenant keeping God,& what He promises,He performs..Each & every one of the covenant He has made concerning you He will honor..His word shall not return back to Him void,but shall do that which He pleases & shall proper wherever He sends it (Isa 55:11)..It will please Him to bless you,to increase you,to uphold you,to strengthen you,you deliver you,to enlarge your coast..He will establish you in righteousness,you will be far from oppression,no terror shall come near you (Isa 54:14). In whatever/wherever you go,the Lord will go before you,He will go with you & He will back you up..You will lack/want for nothing good as you wait on the Lord (Psa 34:10)..For whatever door He opens no man can shut,This month He will open up doors of opportunity,of favor,of grace,of blessings,of increase to you..Whatever it is that you have lost the past 11 months,this month you will recover them & many more..He will usher you into the new year with all the good things He has promised those that walk upright in His sight..IJN (Amen)!!

I hope you were blessed by this post.
Offering can be posted in comments in form of recharge cards. :D

SKILLA DIARIES XVII

THURSDAY 


It's official, my weekend starts on Thursdays, no thanks to BYOB @ Play....u can add Karaoke @ Cassalinda too.....this thursday wasn't any different from any other as i got off from work and went straight to the Office aka Stadia to mark daily *yes daily* register with Udeme and have a few sessions of greatness with the boys...Rory, Sal and T-Mak later joined us before we all left for Karaoke at Cassalinda. 
The usual suspects were there already, giga, Q, et al..... As usual, ur boy killed it, serenading the audience with my angelic/nickleback voice, had a duet with Bambam as well, singing My Girl....the crowd wend gaga.....even the hostesses were amazed at the way i controlled my tempo, the even offered me a job in their band.... enough of the self praise sef..... Slim and Sal have beautiful voices by the way, i suspect they sing in the church choir.....left Cassalinda for Play...what's Thursday gonna be without BYOB...i mean....had mad fun sha...Bambam does know how to wind her waist, the bottles of vodka mysteriously grew wings and flew away from the table......left around 3:00AM sha....... finished up a report i was working on earlier today at the office and slept around 4:00AM


FRIDAY


Work was a bit tiring today, moving around and stuff... with the hangover from the night before, considering i woke up around 7:30AM...just 3 and a half hours of sleep...*sigh*. My boss must have woken up on the right side of the bed or the report i wrote in my drunken state was exceptionally good cos he commended me on a job well done i should drink more when writing and failed to observe my being late for work. Even got a mail from my other boss who hardly shells praises at his staff commending me on a good job wonders shall never end........Got off work and next stop was Stadia, had a few drinks with the boys and went straight home. Changed my status to Club B.E.D. weekend as i planned to stay indoors all thru only for Duli to show and drag me outta my house just to oppress me at his niece's 5yr Old birthday party...yes birthday party at 8:00PM somewhere in Aso Drive. Oppressed i was oh! Have u ever seen a 2storey bungalow in your life? I was in one o, 2floors underground with pool and golf course in the backyard i must be rich o!  The celebrant's granddad a former dark goggle wearing leader sure made a lot of money for his family before his demise is all i can say....e remain small make i ask the mother to adopt me.....had fun sha and ate ajebutter food make e no be like say i carry last.....got home around midnight and slept like a baby.


SATURDAY


This weekend i was supposed to be in Lagos to support my friend Tkamz for #Underground shame i couldn't make it as i had some urgent matters to attend to at aso rock on GEJ's request owu breeze dey blow. Hooked up with the Adawa Committee at Stadia to watch Manchester United whoop Blackburn's ass 7-1 toh quality, Dimeji Babatope aka Dimitri Berbatov put 5 goals behind the keeper to top the goal charts 11goals toh bad now. 
Thank God for twitter i was able to follow the event there and find out who the eventual winner was...well it was a namesake Tola Smith aka @OyeSmith on twirra........shashasha...blablabla...yadiyadiyada. It was Play's 2nd anniversary and as a loyal customer, i had to be there, only snag was the guest list...i had no problem getting in but a few of my friends wanted to tag along...knowing dem play bouncers, dem fit go funny. Scrolled thru my BBM contacs and found the right person to sort it out Mady! she asked for names i wanted...and as an original naija boy, i sent a list of 10peeps, i can bet the look on her face was priceless when she saw the names...she was probably expecting 3/4...she sha made it happen. THANK YOU MADY HAYES!  


Hooked up with CFC, Dj, Duli, Kachi and T-Mak before going to pick MsKunz and DZ women can like to waste time. CFC ditched us saying he was tired but the Sherlock Holmes in me knew he was going to visit a mutual friend. Got to Play and the bouncers as usual wanted to go funny...even MsKunz showed her irritation wondering if they could read the guest list. We sha entered ordered a bottle of JD, bumped into old and new friends, partied hard.......left the place at 3:00AM for home while everybody went to aqua....watched me some sex education videos porn as i didn't go home with any woman konji na bastard. 


SUNDAY


Sunday as usual was Movie Sunday but  Dexter Season4 instead, fell asleep after the 2nd episode....woke up around 4:30PM, took a stroll to stadia to watch Tottenham vs Liverpool, match ended 2-1. I can say Spurs are the new Kings of Comeback. Was about heading home when Bizzle suggested we try Jabi Zuma Gardens P/Soup....omo the thing make sense die, washing it down with 2bottles of Udeme and enjoying moments of greatness with dem boyz #nohomo...........


MONDAY


Work!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.....looking forward to Thursday where my weekend starts. Have a great week people.


P.S
If u don't have anything to do but spell check and gbagaun-check this post you can;
1. Use Vaseline to fry egg
2. Dance alanta on a basketball
3. Use carpet to sew agbada 
4. Hug Transformer


Choose wisely #okbye! 

SKILLA DIARIES XVI

Thursday

BYOB at Play…..bleh, I’ll pass as I already attended 3 this week…..Monday thru Wednesday and 3 bottles of Absolut Vodka plus most of the crowd that might be there tonight were at the BYOB in Garki2 the day before so there was no point ….. Na so hunger gbab me around 11PM bachelor life hard o,  decided to go to the sharwarma king at wine shop, unfortunately sharwarma don finish so I settled down for asun. On my way home, passed in front of play and believe me the crowd was lean as at midnight…….got home, sipped on the claro bottle of vodka I had while grubbing my well seasoned asun.

Friday

TK’s mom’s 50^th was today, another BYOB something….didn’t buy any bottle but made T-Mak bring a bottle of cognac from his house, afterall na me buy the previous 3……Hooked up with Slim at Dunes on our way to TK’s briefly….Mingled with the crowd...bla bla bla...got high...blablabla.....blogging is becoming a herculean task o. sha sha...we left for Zone1 to see some friends...TMak the asewo that he is was talking to the Ladies in the house while i sat outside with the dude over bottles of Udeme.....i was being dulled so i BBMed a bunch of people to find out which activity was available....i was in luck, @attaswitch replied....he was at Uptown with his peeps.....got there in no time...it was either my inebriated state or TMak feeling like an F1 driver.....from uptown to play.....drank more vodka.....danced, danced, monkeyed around as usual.....bumped into old friends as well as some tweeps....blablabla.......shit, don't feel like writing today jor....just put this up to fulfill all righteousness.........#okbye! 

SKILLA DIARIES XV....SALLAH BREAK

Two posts in a week...whothunkit!....Anyhoo....make i give my diary gist....

Monday
So i got off work a bit late due to preparing a project plan...blablabla...yadiyadiyada....shasha.....i left for Stadia e don dey turn habit to see @GriffinStreaks....before i could say hello, Udeme don show for my front....we begin dey discuss greatness and things in the society by and large, udeme left and Odeku his broda showed...it sure was a good evening cos my light bruva Duli and ordered 2bottles of Fayrouz Lager. Thought the evening was gonna end till TMak picked us (myself n Duli) up for a baiday parry ges2gerra something in Maitama....only snag it was a BYOB...picked up a bottle of Absolut at wine shop................we sha reach the party around 8:30....na we 1st reach sef we even helped in dusting the chairs. In no time, the party crowd trooped in...enough lems as well as enough shayo...omo as a bachelor, i lem tight this awoof no run my belle. The movers and shakers of the shayo industry were guests as well and as a consultant in alcoholic matters, we had a brief session on how to move the industry forward...u can see from the picture below...myself and TMak Sampling the new cocktail made by Q and Eddie of iBlend

iBlend...Do You?

Brainstorming Session

Kodak Moments

TIME Man of the year 2014

Enough of the photos sef....long and short of monday be say...i chop beleful...drank till i was inebriated and got home in one piss...peace abi na piece sef...u sha get my gist.

Tuesday
Sallah day..whoop whoop! enuff eran din din Had to go to work for a brainstorming session with my staff.....got their 5mins late had 2 make an entrance, no be say hangover it was quite productive if i may add. One of my staff who i shall call HIGHREE cos of his usual high state ordered Kasapreko's Alomo Bitters straight from Chale's backyard ...in a nutshell the alomo was imported from Ghana...mixed mine with coke during my presentation and my eloquence was quite on point.....got off work and went straight home to crash...the hunt for the golden fleece aka sallah meet shall begin when i wake up...was awoken by a call from @Griffin at 4:00PM saying  *in Don Jazzy's voice* "now is the time to know who got sallah meat"...na so i show him crib from there myself and his sibs went t Farouq's house and behold...SALLAH MEAT BUFFET ALL U CAN EAT! Omo i even carry my toothpick go "Yo ishna...Yo ishkangae" Good thinking, Good product"....i even managed to get take away for the friendly neighbour Ms. W.

Done at Farouq's the party moved to Stadia dem don jazz boys...Big Jibs aka Hustler Gbamgba was in town btw...he's my brother from another mother.....A few more peeps also joined us...Rory, Jola, Uduak, one yellow fine chick, orobo toh bad and Bassey...had fun while sipping on Udeme.....was supposed to go to platinum as *R-Kelly's voice* My mind is telling me YES...but my body, my body is telling me NO....took the advice of the latter and went home.

Wednesday
Big Shout out to CFC...today was his birthday but the goat that he his wanted to run to lagos...well he did go sha...not until the after the surprise party we WOODCREST NIGGAS threw for him....e no easy to kill ram na...enough meat in the building with shayo to wash it down.........done with CFC's do, TMak picked me up for Attah's do in Garki2....picked up a bottle of Absolut at Area2 shopping complex, Vodka na 2k2 for that zones....heheheheheh...wineshop na 3k5...awon oloshi! .....we got there early as usual..made a few friends as well as identify tweeps i follow on twitter bloody stalker tendency i have  Party was on point ...Shayo choke as na BYOB style party, BBQ everywhere, i doubt if there are chickens and turkeys available in Garki2 area  cos the table was filled with it or maybe cos all the rams in town were dead #dryjoke..... 

Note: this Abuja is a small town, everyone sabi each other and i can say 70% of the attendees at that party are always at play on Thursdays for BYOB.......

Summary of activities at the do...PWAN was duly represented by the Monk and Blaze, SapphireChic almost beat the shit outta me for mistakenly spilling my drink on her hair Bully Oshi, The Gangs, @gigachic and Q were up to no good, GTB Yellow was all mushy mushy, the paparrazi was all over taking pishos of urs truly i kent shout, Zara was looking for husband t die with picks race, Griffin, Jiboye, Jola and Uduak came in later...Mylaxx was without her scarf, Minu had sex twice and one time was with a dude...heheheheheheh....Bruno is a great host, met @khauw..cute she is....that's about all i can remember cos alcohol dey system......got home at 9:43PM and slept like a baby. Woke up at 3:53 AM to type this post.....the END!

P.S
You know the drill....gbagaun all u like...it's my blog and not yours...i still won't proof read it shikena!

SKILLA DIARIES XIV

I finally finished my report after the 1st draft was classified as a civil servant's work by boss think i've hung out with Timi to much, bloody civil servant...miss u man, no homo! it's 1:30AM by the way and so i decided to blog before i hit the sack.....*yawn*

And so what if i didn't put up a post last week!!!! Una no dey pay me + work has been a binsh lately!








Summary of the week b4
I'll probably omit a few stories as i no too remember selective amnesia
 
Owu Harmattan period started that week and the weather man advised i stay indoors which i did till Saturday when my Mama elf acclaimed aka GTBYellow and giga decided  to drag me out for karaoke which i obliged. Dragged T-Mak along make e no be like say na me be the only guy for the whole lungu. We jammed at the karaoke bar...somewhere in Wuse2 not gonna mention cos they suck donkey balls. Anyhoo....we sha did karaoke with a buncha other cool peeps till we got bored and left the dead zone for Play where we got complimentary tequila shots and monkeyed around for a bit before we all decided to hook up the following Thursday at Casalinda, somewhere in Maitama....to continue with out sonorous karaoke voices....That done, we all left for our respective condos ....THE END .....by the way i scored the highest singing i be-winch-lieve i can fly (78)

Thursday 11/11/10
So my lil bro turned 13 today and his mum was also 50....T-Mak picked me up from work, got them birthday cards presents and headed to the venue to eat awoof dinner e no easy to be bachelor.Next stop, karaoke...invited a few interested friends but not all of em made it......

Picked up Farouq aka El Loco as well as Rory who was waiting for me at home. Got a BBM from softie saying she won't be available. Headed to Casalinda with Farouq, Tmak and Rory...met @gigachic n GTBYellow outside as Well as @Amiestone n her cute sis.

Before I could say jack the rabbit, GTBYellow don already dey sing get busy by sean paul...joined her and we killed it....bad man dat hayam.......the audience cheered, some even gave us a standing ovation. CFC, Duli and OJ popped in, Ms DKNY also came about the same time with Jola an OY....monkeyed around for a bit and decided to hit the sack only we ended up at BYOB....the plan was to spend 30mins which turned to 3hrs....do the maths......CFC was on form at BYOB o cos as the song "Say AAhhh" started playing, as my guy literally popped champagne cos he got mad doe....him even popped one for me i for collect the money *kmt* me sef quality....CFC and my lyt brothers left for Aqua while i went home alone.
Friday 12/11/10
Didn't get off work till late.......hooked up with @Griffinstreaks at Stadia, chilled for a bit and went home for a nap. My phone woke me up around 11:30PM....it was CFC telling me to get ready as he was coming to get me.....rocaholic that i was don kit up...no time for dulling, only the monkey didn't show up till 1:00AM....thank God Stadia no far from my house, i just stroll go join @Griffinstreak and his crew only to find stadia filled with THINGS....totally forgot it was Sumbo's birthday.....sha..sha...i had a lengthy convo with Udeme and talked about greatness while waiting for CFC. He popped in around 1:00AM with Ms Jigi, Ms Bow, Argentina and Ms. J.........Griffin and his crew were heading to Platinum Lounge, wanted to tag along but dem Misses in d car wanted to go to Play....CFC obliged them u go fear yansh veto *kmy*. I just dey para as the number of abanas wey dey griffin crew plenty!!!!!

Play was packed as usual, tipped the bouncers *yes i tip! hayam generous like that* before entering cos if i enter, nothing for them after. CFC no dey carry last, b4 i could say "actor no dey die"..Rose don show for table.....Ms. J's sister later joined, Dr. T making 5girls and 2boys.....where are your wing-men when u need them  we need some more men in here. As if that wasn't bad enough, Ms DKNY sef show looking all angelic for her mind in white. Left for Aristotle and as usual we maintained our champion for one koro in VIP.....all i could say for this night is....it was LEGEN....wait for it.....DARY

Saturday and Sunday
Stayed indoors most of the time and played FIFA '11....went to the office to work for a bit on saturday though.....CFC came to visit with dem Misses.....Ms Jigi almost gorrit, but she ran away her liver no gree even after i offed her paynt *hayam endowed like that............finished up my report by the way, no easy task

Hopefully i'll have something to write this sallah holiday

P.S
i still no dey proof read shit...i see most of u have hugged a transformer and are still alive....i blame PHCN for this....abeg #LightupNigeria

SKILLA DIARIES XIII

Thursday

Was in BANS *Boys Are Not Smiling* mode as owu dey blow and bills were piling up e no easy to be man. So i decided to shelve my BYOB Thursday ritual at play till CFC called to change paroles saying tabs are on him....as a sharp guy i tagged along awoof dey run belle. CFC picked me up, we left for wineshop around 10PM, grabbed a bottle of Vodka....and oh yeah, spotted Q without @Sir_Timmy1 *Dude is now chopping oil money in Bayelsa.....miss that nucca #nohomo

Got to BYOB rather early, in fact this was the earliest i've ever gotten there. We shared a table with Q, started sipping on our vodka shepe and juice when @GriffinStreeaks @Soyebo and the gang joined our table with. These boys are alcoholic....3bottles of vodka disappeared in no time even when CFC asked to monitor his alchy consumption. Step in T....T used to be CFC's neighbor at 1004 onile gogoro as well as Buga's almost girlfriend. Buga already gave me heads up that she'll be there and there she was shaking her ikebe in front of CFC. Make e no be like say i carry last, i follow rock the ikebe utunu!

T's Ikebe...Ikebe toh kwoliti

Our Koro at BYOB...that's @GriffinStreaks btw

Everyone sha wanted to grind with T

Left Play like 4:00AM and didn't get home till 7:30AM....why?....omo mehn crash inside car shayonabastard!.

Friday
 Woke up 30mins after i got home for work...................no one cares about work here. So Ms. Jigi called that she wanted to groove utunu....not just her o, she and her friends....for my mind i dey say one chance as me i no  get money but CFC came thru again what will i do without this boy *sigh*. @Biodunf and Kachi *Lagos fam* were also in town .....they shan't be dulled.....Mr. Mak picked me later in the eveing to hook up with the rest of the crew all 8 of us headed for P.U.L.S.E at Platinum Lounge, S.E.C.....dem wan form guest list but thank God i know people, who know other people who know bad guyz. Bumped into the regular Abuja crowd, Q was there, Zara wey suppose dey NYSC Camp, PWAN and many more i don't remember.

It was Ice Prince's birthday as well, so he decided to kolobi the microphone as well as order the DJ to play track this and track that.....we endured the brief moment of by force concert

IcePrince doing his thing

We left PULSE for Play which was a bit off for a Friday night.........next stop, Aqua....That place was HOT!!!! ahan, the place was packed.....blame it on this orobo pole dancer in a cow girl costume who knows how to work the pole better than her lepa counterparts....see pic below. By the way heard the babe was seizing phones if u took her picture...me i be james bond...seize fire na

Orobo Pole Dancer

Saturday
 Woke up late, and joined my peoples later, Kachi n @Biodunf were having fun i think and oh yeah it was also Debola's birthday awoof lems *bb alanta smiley*. Hooked up at ceddi plaza, whiled away time looking at some ladies dancing while boys called dibs on a particular chic in pink.

My People

Midnight
We headed to iBlend's ScreamFest at ROMA Lounge...all 18 of us o, u go fear crowd then Play afterward for Uti's party...we all couldn't get in levelz pass levelz. so we left for Aqua's Halloween parry without costume or mask........ patapata we go pay enter.

Aqua wasn't bad at all...well blame it on our crowd....we sure do know how to have fun.....Then orobo stripper came again with her tricks as well as obtaining phones....Softie took a pic and was nabbed....we got the phone later after the picture was deleted...tried to take a pic but it didn't come out clear

Cellulite Infested stripper yansh okbye!

Had a few drinks and headed to Aristotle oh boy we dey waka o!. Aristotle was fun too.......daned with Ms. Kunz for a bit and i kept repeating nohomo! every time she backed it up....she's the poster girl for chics i call DKNY "Double Kegs No Yansh!"

It was a great weekend and as Biodun said.....it was decadent and filled with debauchery....

Mac Daddy

that's Ms. Jigi's bumbum :D

Moi n Bukky

PS
I still won't proof-read shit, iz eet ya blog?


Have a great week

THE SKILLA DIARIES XII

So one of my followers on twitter asked when the next post of this diary's gonna be posted, so here I am blogging from my BB no be say dem dey pay me sef *kmt*.....ain't that about a bitch!

Being without a laptop is quite close to depression as it reduces ones productivity as well as my pranks and silly ways online. To the fucktards who robbed my car; your reward is in heaven......back to my diary o jare

Thursday
One of the days of the week I look forward to cos that's when my weekend starts, no thanks to BYOB. Funny thing is I never take a bottle cos of their time cap for taking bottles in. Always end up buying at the bar. Well I didn't go this thursday even when I made arrangements to meet a buncha people.

The evening wasn't boring as I had to visit one of my "Partners in Crime" (PIC) as she just moved into her self contain mini-studio apartment located in Zone7. Got to PIC's and met her cute cousin she can gerrit *evil grin* as well as her colleague from work who I was tryna "do" for doing sake *no strings attached*. PIC sure knows how to take care of herself and as a bad guy, I familiarized myself with her fridge. Grabbed the cranberry juice and vodka and voila, my evening started and almost ended on the bed with her colleague yes I'm an ashy like that
Don't remember much cos I had too much to drink but I sure got home safely and slept of instead of going for BYOB

Friday
Got off work early and dragged Ola, a colleague of mine from work and headed to Ceddi to see CFC and Duli for a lil chat. Finished with them boys and headed to Park n Shop to get a replacement for PIC's vodka and cranberry I finished the night before. Started drinking the vodka as soon as we got there no time for dulling while PIC and her cuz prepared for a friend's sister's grad party. Waited for Giga to come so we could all leave together.

Got to the party semi-high  feeling outta place more like an agbaya but good thing the graduand's elder sis is a friend. Had a few more drinks and took obtained red bull for the vodka left in my fridge at home. The party was just there, met a few old friends tho....blablabla...shasha....we went back to PIC's cos dem ladies wanted to change you go think say na dem baiday. After delaying my self and Ola for 3good hours they decided to come out and we went to amber lounge to chill small. PIC's oga was tryna pimp her out to a customer ni sha....me just throway face wetin consign agbero with overload.

LOLz and Le' Cripple (Life Camp Flatmates) called saying they wanted to hang out, told em to meet me at Amber, Ola had to leave so i was stuck with 3women while i waited for the flat mates. We checked out Platinum Lounge on the 6th foor of SEC (Nice Environment, Roomy club...might go for PULSE on Friday the 29th). PIC and are crew were leaving when the flatmates got in.....Ms. K called later to find out if i was out.....sha sha we went to pick her and ended up at Play.....had fun....blablabla...pressed yansh....blablabla...etc.

Saturday-Sunday
Was spent playing FIFA '11, then a movie date with Ms. Sal and that was it.................frigging hate blogging from my phone....oya make una contribute make i buy new lappy and internet connection.


P.S
as usual i don't proof-read my post....it's my blog and i can gbagaun if i want to :D