SKILLA DIARIES XX: Abuja-Gidi Something

Haven't updated this blog in 2weeks, complacency setting in or i just don't have time? Who knows?.....Last week was interesting o! Nobs Memoirs kinda interesting but my liver never reach share the details.....i was ill too for 4 straight days and i couldn't drink alcohol which made my ginger level drop drastically.....make i just summarize every

Tuesday or Wednesday (not sure): I met @DizzyDami for the 1st time along side BamBam and the 4eyedMonk at Cafe 24 before heading to a birthday party at Code...same Abuja crowd were there to grace the occasion fucking small town kmt Alcohol choke for that party sha.....couldn't dance cos i was wearing shorts and i couldn't afford grinding on a chic with my pata washing tool has a mind of its own rising to the occasion how embarrassing could that get? So i maintained my champion and sat jejely in one koro gisting with Q and @Sfladipo till my people were ready to leave.....#inothernews: DizzyDami and Bambam sure know how to whine their waists sha....ahan!

Thursday: Did i mention i had 2 house guests (females A and N *very courageous chicks o!"Yoruba translation") earlier....i doubt....back to the gist....my guests were at home when i got in from stadia i go there everyday now *smh* so i  invited them for karaoke but it seems they had other plans....T-Mak and Faruq later came to pick me up but we had a quick stop at Sharwarma King man must whack while waiting, i got a call from A asking me to get Cranberry Juice as there was a bottle of Vodka at home.....i thought it was gonna be a brief drop till T-Mak and Faruq saw A  and N.....these boys are just pure randy! Before i could say gheungheun....boys don dey get all frisky, na hin mini-BYOB start, shame i couldn't join in as i was on meds. Miss N later showed up, she just came in from lagos....yep she's endowed too...Mr. Switch also joined the group later....my small BQ turned to VIP in a matter of 30mins..music blasting from DJ Lappy....we decided to go for BYOB after the bottle of Absolut was down to the last drop.....BYOB was fun sha....even in my weak state, i was able to groove utunu! the ashawo in me no gree sick with the way i was grinding and thingz....Got home and the party continued....the rest they say my friend, is Tales by Moonlight

Friday: Ajala mode - Check....Lagos beckons, i ja'd from the office for the year. Flight was delayed by an hour or so....Lagos and traffic are synonyms i tell you, check ya thesaurus if i'm lying. Had to take a bike from the airport to meet momsy's driver at AVM Church cos of the standstill caused by our presido GEJ. Got home with Buga and Mr. Awesome waiting for me, hailed the fam and set out immediately....did a lil shopping, picked up CFC and Duli and got back to Buga's...Ganja was already waiting for us..... 5mins later, Incredible Hustle pulled up in a space bus filled with chics az in! Na theire ginger begin dey spread for body....we sha headed out, 1st stop was Rehab aka Milo Last kid standing....they had a guest list something, then volar...same thing...Marquee was full oh as all the innit and wazzup people were in town, we later stopped at NewsCafe for cocktails as well as enjoy the view if u see some yanshes ehn! We returned to Marquee after scaling the bouncers at the elevators only for the bouncers at the door bounce us, na so me sef enter my "innit - mode" when i spray all the phonee wey i sabi finish i get 3siblings for london jand, no be mistake, one of the managers heard and believed in the gospel, even castigated the bouncers....all on top say i speak phonee on behalf of my siblings wonders shall never end. Upon all i still do shakara commot immediately to go join Incredible Hustle and his bevy of chicks at Bacchus. Bacchus bouncers sef wan go funny but Alhaji Aliyu Mai-Bornu and Dr. Clement Isong google if u no sabi who dem be did the trick and we joined in. There was this particular chic that was grinding on me all night till i heard her age! omo i was shocked o...if no be say education, i go fit born her...sat down in one koro the rest of the night sipping on whiskey till we were ready to leave.

Saturday: My Saturday was already packed with events;

• 5weddings
• High School reunion
• Mr. Awesome's birthday
• FunturfSoccerFieta2
• Twiterave
• GTB 20th Anniversary

i'm not sure if that's the complete list of activities lined up for that day but this is all i remember. Can u guess how many i attended? google is your friend. Didn't wake up till 4pm so the weddings were out of it, reunion was in ikeja so that too was struck out. Picked up Mr. Awesome and Buga for our remaining waka on the island, the traffic na die o, had a late lunch and gt to funturf around 7pm only for those clowns asking a whole moi to come and pay 2k i be alaroro for event wey go end in 30mins dem papa hung out outside, bumped into a few followers and friends before heading to the palms for dinner chinese something as per Mr. Awesome's baiday....next stop was GTB's anniversary, 4 passes, 16people....omo necessity is the mother of all inventions o jare, long story short, the 4passes went round...shout out to @thetoolsman and @awizii for this. The GTB do was on point with top notch performances from Wande C, Dr. Sid, Jesse Jags. Ikechuckwu's performance was just there as well as Tuface's. Highlight of the night was that comedian that partnered with Basket Mouth Sidi John or something....dude cracked me up make i no lie. Final stop was Twiterave make e no be like say person no reach there plus we were looking for food. Got there feeling like a bad guy as i was assured my name was on the guest list...only for the bouncers asking for pass...i'm like dude...isn't it a guest list something?....i no wan long am i just waka go my house go crash.......food kuku dey house.


Sunday: So a couple of friends almost drowned at the beach the previous weekend and vowed never to go to the beach again.....but it was BYOB Bring Your Own Banger organized by my bestie and her friends as well as @Lydae_Tee's Fresh Fish!!! baiday. I was able to drag Buga and Mr. Awesome out and promised not to get close to the water......summary = it was fun, hung out with a lt of fun peeps .....that is all.


Monday/Tuesday: Got a mail from the boss, flew in to abuja at the nick of time on Tuesday and it looks like i might be spending xmas here as well....to think i've already planned my weekend in gidi...*kmft*...no #ReEvolveTheParty and Koko Concert on Friday, BBQ at Ade's on Saturday, #Underground and ABE on Sunday, House Parties on Monday and Tuesday for me....i'm so frigging burnt....well, on the bright side, i still have my fellow roastos in abuja....we shall make the best of this holiday...........that's about it

Tips on hitch free clubbing in gidi (IMO):

• Have a pot belly
• Have money sticking out on either sides of your pocket
• Your swag has to be on point
• Know all the bouncers
• Tip heavily
• Know managers of the clubs/bar
• Dress like its your baiday
• Most IMPORTANTLY, be  "innit compliant"

I still prefer clubbing in Abuja to Gidi hands down except for that fucker called Oscar at Aqua!

P.S.
Happy Holidays, gbagaun all you can, i ain't mad atcha