SKILLA DIARIES XVII

THURSDAY 


It's official, my weekend starts on Thursdays, no thanks to BYOB @ Play....u can add Karaoke @ Cassalinda too.....this thursday wasn't any different from any other as i got off from work and went straight to the Office aka Stadia to mark daily *yes daily* register with Udeme and have a few sessions of greatness with the boys...Rory, Sal and T-Mak later joined us before we all left for Karaoke at Cassalinda. 
The usual suspects were there already, giga, Q, et al..... As usual, ur boy killed it, serenading the audience with my angelic/nickleback voice, had a duet with Bambam as well, singing My Girl....the crowd wend gaga.....even the hostesses were amazed at the way i controlled my tempo, the even offered me a job in their band.... enough of the self praise sef..... Slim and Sal have beautiful voices by the way, i suspect they sing in the church choir.....left Cassalinda for Play...what's Thursday gonna be without BYOB...i mean....had mad fun sha...Bambam does know how to wind her waist, the bottles of vodka mysteriously grew wings and flew away from the table......left around 3:00AM sha....... finished up a report i was working on earlier today at the office and slept around 4:00AM


FRIDAY


Work was a bit tiring today, moving around and stuff... with the hangover from the night before, considering i woke up around 7:30AM...just 3 and a half hours of sleep...*sigh*. My boss must have woken up on the right side of the bed or the report i wrote in my drunken state was exceptionally good cos he commended me on a job well done i should drink more when writing and failed to observe my being late for work. Even got a mail from my other boss who hardly shells praises at his staff commending me on a good job wonders shall never end........Got off work and next stop was Stadia, had a few drinks with the boys and went straight home. Changed my status to Club B.E.D. weekend as i planned to stay indoors all thru only for Duli to show and drag me outta my house just to oppress me at his niece's 5yr Old birthday party...yes birthday party at 8:00PM somewhere in Aso Drive. Oppressed i was oh! Have u ever seen a 2storey bungalow in your life? I was in one o, 2floors underground with pool and golf course in the backyard i must be rich o!  The celebrant's granddad a former dark goggle wearing leader sure made a lot of money for his family before his demise is all i can say....e remain small make i ask the mother to adopt me.....had fun sha and ate ajebutter food make e no be like say i carry last.....got home around midnight and slept like a baby.


SATURDAY


This weekend i was supposed to be in Lagos to support my friend Tkamz for #Underground shame i couldn't make it as i had some urgent matters to attend to at aso rock on GEJ's request owu breeze dey blow. Hooked up with the Adawa Committee at Stadia to watch Manchester United whoop Blackburn's ass 7-1 toh quality, Dimeji Babatope aka Dimitri Berbatov put 5 goals behind the keeper to top the goal charts 11goals toh bad now. 
Thank God for twitter i was able to follow the event there and find out who the eventual winner was...well it was a namesake Tola Smith aka @OyeSmith on twirra........shashasha...blablabla...yadiyadiyada. It was Play's 2nd anniversary and as a loyal customer, i had to be there, only snag was the guest list...i had no problem getting in but a few of my friends wanted to tag along...knowing dem play bouncers, dem fit go funny. Scrolled thru my BBM contacs and found the right person to sort it out Mady! she asked for names i wanted...and as an original naija boy, i sent a list of 10peeps, i can bet the look on her face was priceless when she saw the names...she was probably expecting 3/4...she sha made it happen. THANK YOU MADY HAYES!  


Hooked up with CFC, Dj, Duli, Kachi and T-Mak before going to pick MsKunz and DZ women can like to waste time. CFC ditched us saying he was tired but the Sherlock Holmes in me knew he was going to visit a mutual friend. Got to Play and the bouncers as usual wanted to go funny...even MsKunz showed her irritation wondering if they could read the guest list. We sha entered ordered a bottle of JD, bumped into old and new friends, partied hard.......left the place at 3:00AM for home while everybody went to aqua....watched me some sex education videos porn as i didn't go home with any woman konji na bastard. 


SUNDAY


Sunday as usual was Movie Sunday but  Dexter Season4 instead, fell asleep after the 2nd episode....woke up around 4:30PM, took a stroll to stadia to watch Tottenham vs Liverpool, match ended 2-1. I can say Spurs are the new Kings of Comeback. Was about heading home when Bizzle suggested we try Jabi Zuma Gardens P/Soup....omo the thing make sense die, washing it down with 2bottles of Udeme and enjoying moments of greatness with dem boyz #nohomo...........


MONDAY


Work!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.....looking forward to Thursday where my weekend starts. Have a great week people.


P.S
If u don't have anything to do but spell check and gbagaun-check this post you can;
1. Use Vaseline to fry egg
2. Dance alanta on a basketball
3. Use carpet to sew agbada 
4. Hug Transformer


Choose wisely #okbye! 

SKILLA DIARIES XVI

Thursday

BYOB at Play…..bleh, I’ll pass as I already attended 3 this week…..Monday thru Wednesday and 3 bottles of Absolut Vodka plus most of the crowd that might be there tonight were at the BYOB in Garki2 the day before so there was no point ….. Na so hunger gbab me around 11PM bachelor life hard o,  decided to go to the sharwarma king at wine shop, unfortunately sharwarma don finish so I settled down for asun. On my way home, passed in front of play and believe me the crowd was lean as at midnight…….got home, sipped on the claro bottle of vodka I had while grubbing my well seasoned asun.

Friday

TK’s mom’s 50^th was today, another BYOB something….didn’t buy any bottle but made T-Mak bring a bottle of cognac from his house, afterall na me buy the previous 3……Hooked up with Slim at Dunes on our way to TK’s briefly….Mingled with the crowd...bla bla bla...got high...blablabla.....blogging is becoming a herculean task o. sha sha...we left for Zone1 to see some friends...TMak the asewo that he is was talking to the Ladies in the house while i sat outside with the dude over bottles of Udeme.....i was being dulled so i BBMed a bunch of people to find out which activity was available....i was in luck, @attaswitch replied....he was at Uptown with his peeps.....got there in no time...it was either my inebriated state or TMak feeling like an F1 driver.....from uptown to play.....drank more vodka.....danced, danced, monkeyed around as usual.....bumped into old friends as well as some tweeps....blablabla.......shit, don't feel like writing today jor....just put this up to fulfill all righteousness.........#okbye! 

SKILLA DIARIES XV....SALLAH BREAK

Two posts in a week...whothunkit!....Anyhoo....make i give my diary gist....

Monday
So i got off work a bit late due to preparing a project plan...blablabla...yadiyadiyada....shasha.....i left for Stadia e don dey turn habit to see @GriffinStreaks....before i could say hello, Udeme don show for my front....we begin dey discuss greatness and things in the society by and large, udeme left and Odeku his broda showed...it sure was a good evening cos my light bruva Duli and ordered 2bottles of Fayrouz Lager. Thought the evening was gonna end till TMak picked us (myself n Duli) up for a baiday parry ges2gerra something in Maitama....only snag it was a BYOB...picked up a bottle of Absolut at wine shop................we sha reach the party around 8:30....na we 1st reach sef we even helped in dusting the chairs. In no time, the party crowd trooped in...enough lems as well as enough shayo...omo as a bachelor, i lem tight this awoof no run my belle. The movers and shakers of the shayo industry were guests as well and as a consultant in alcoholic matters, we had a brief session on how to move the industry forward...u can see from the picture below...myself and TMak Sampling the new cocktail made by Q and Eddie of iBlend

iBlend...Do You?

Brainstorming Session

Kodak Moments

TIME Man of the year 2014

Enough of the photos sef....long and short of monday be say...i chop beleful...drank till i was inebriated and got home in one piss...peace abi na piece sef...u sha get my gist.

Tuesday
Sallah day..whoop whoop! enuff eran din din Had to go to work for a brainstorming session with my staff.....got their 5mins late had 2 make an entrance, no be say hangover it was quite productive if i may add. One of my staff who i shall call HIGHREE cos of his usual high state ordered Kasapreko's Alomo Bitters straight from Chale's backyard ...in a nutshell the alomo was imported from Ghana...mixed mine with coke during my presentation and my eloquence was quite on point.....got off work and went straight home to crash...the hunt for the golden fleece aka sallah meet shall begin when i wake up...was awoken by a call from @Griffin at 4:00PM saying  *in Don Jazzy's voice* "now is the time to know who got sallah meat"...na so i show him crib from there myself and his sibs went t Farouq's house and behold...SALLAH MEAT BUFFET ALL U CAN EAT! Omo i even carry my toothpick go "Yo ishna...Yo ishkangae" Good thinking, Good product"....i even managed to get take away for the friendly neighbour Ms. W.

Done at Farouq's the party moved to Stadia dem don jazz boys...Big Jibs aka Hustler Gbamgba was in town btw...he's my brother from another mother.....A few more peeps also joined us...Rory, Jola, Uduak, one yellow fine chick, orobo toh bad and Bassey...had fun while sipping on Udeme.....was supposed to go to platinum as *R-Kelly's voice* My mind is telling me YES...but my body, my body is telling me NO....took the advice of the latter and went home.

Wednesday
Big Shout out to CFC...today was his birthday but the goat that he his wanted to run to lagos...well he did go sha...not until the after the surprise party we WOODCREST NIGGAS threw for him....e no easy to kill ram na...enough meat in the building with shayo to wash it down.........done with CFC's do, TMak picked me up for Attah's do in Garki2....picked up a bottle of Absolut at Area2 shopping complex, Vodka na 2k2 for that zones....heheheheheh...wineshop na 3k5...awon oloshi! .....we got there early as usual..made a few friends as well as identify tweeps i follow on twitter bloody stalker tendency i have  Party was on point ...Shayo choke as na BYOB style party, BBQ everywhere, i doubt if there are chickens and turkeys available in Garki2 area  cos the table was filled with it or maybe cos all the rams in town were dead #dryjoke..... 

Note: this Abuja is a small town, everyone sabi each other and i can say 70% of the attendees at that party are always at play on Thursdays for BYOB.......

Summary of activities at the do...PWAN was duly represented by the Monk and Blaze, SapphireChic almost beat the shit outta me for mistakenly spilling my drink on her hair Bully Oshi, The Gangs, @gigachic and Q were up to no good, GTB Yellow was all mushy mushy, the paparrazi was all over taking pishos of urs truly i kent shout, Zara was looking for husband t die with picks race, Griffin, Jiboye, Jola and Uduak came in later...Mylaxx was without her scarf, Minu had sex twice and one time was with a dude...heheheheheheh....Bruno is a great host, met @khauw..cute she is....that's about all i can remember cos alcohol dey system......got home at 9:43PM and slept like a baby. Woke up at 3:53 AM to type this post.....the END!

P.S
You know the drill....gbagaun all u like...it's my blog and not yours...i still won't proof read it shikena!

SKILLA DIARIES XIV

I finally finished my report after the 1st draft was classified as a civil servant's work by boss think i've hung out with Timi to much, bloody civil servant...miss u man, no homo! it's 1:30AM by the way and so i decided to blog before i hit the sack.....*yawn*

And so what if i didn't put up a post last week!!!! Una no dey pay me + work has been a binsh lately!








Summary of the week b4
I'll probably omit a few stories as i no too remember selective amnesia
 
Owu Harmattan period started that week and the weather man advised i stay indoors which i did till Saturday when my Mama elf acclaimed aka GTBYellow and giga decided  to drag me out for karaoke which i obliged. Dragged T-Mak along make e no be like say na me be the only guy for the whole lungu. We jammed at the karaoke bar...somewhere in Wuse2 not gonna mention cos they suck donkey balls. Anyhoo....we sha did karaoke with a buncha other cool peeps till we got bored and left the dead zone for Play where we got complimentary tequila shots and monkeyed around for a bit before we all decided to hook up the following Thursday at Casalinda, somewhere in Maitama....to continue with out sonorous karaoke voices....That done, we all left for our respective condos ....THE END .....by the way i scored the highest singing i be-winch-lieve i can fly (78)

Thursday 11/11/10
So my lil bro turned 13 today and his mum was also 50....T-Mak picked me up from work, got them birthday cards presents and headed to the venue to eat awoof dinner e no easy to be bachelor.Next stop, karaoke...invited a few interested friends but not all of em made it......

Picked up Farouq aka El Loco as well as Rory who was waiting for me at home. Got a BBM from softie saying she won't be available. Headed to Casalinda with Farouq, Tmak and Rory...met @gigachic n GTBYellow outside as Well as @Amiestone n her cute sis.

Before I could say jack the rabbit, GTBYellow don already dey sing get busy by sean paul...joined her and we killed it....bad man dat hayam.......the audience cheered, some even gave us a standing ovation. CFC, Duli and OJ popped in, Ms DKNY also came about the same time with Jola an OY....monkeyed around for a bit and decided to hit the sack only we ended up at BYOB....the plan was to spend 30mins which turned to 3hrs....do the maths......CFC was on form at BYOB o cos as the song "Say AAhhh" started playing, as my guy literally popped champagne cos he got mad doe....him even popped one for me i for collect the money *kmt* me sef quality....CFC and my lyt brothers left for Aqua while i went home alone.
Friday 12/11/10
Didn't get off work till late.......hooked up with @Griffinstreaks at Stadia, chilled for a bit and went home for a nap. My phone woke me up around 11:30PM....it was CFC telling me to get ready as he was coming to get me.....rocaholic that i was don kit up...no time for dulling, only the monkey didn't show up till 1:00AM....thank God Stadia no far from my house, i just stroll go join @Griffinstreak and his crew only to find stadia filled with THINGS....totally forgot it was Sumbo's birthday.....sha..sha...i had a lengthy convo with Udeme and talked about greatness while waiting for CFC. He popped in around 1:00AM with Ms Jigi, Ms Bow, Argentina and Ms. J.........Griffin and his crew were heading to Platinum Lounge, wanted to tag along but dem Misses in d car wanted to go to Play....CFC obliged them u go fear yansh veto *kmy*. I just dey para as the number of abanas wey dey griffin crew plenty!!!!!

Play was packed as usual, tipped the bouncers *yes i tip! hayam generous like that* before entering cos if i enter, nothing for them after. CFC no dey carry last, b4 i could say "actor no dey die"..Rose don show for table.....Ms. J's sister later joined, Dr. T making 5girls and 2boys.....where are your wing-men when u need them  we need some more men in here. As if that wasn't bad enough, Ms DKNY sef show looking all angelic for her mind in white. Left for Aristotle and as usual we maintained our champion for one koro in VIP.....all i could say for this night is....it was LEGEN....wait for it.....DARY

Saturday and Sunday
Stayed indoors most of the time and played FIFA '11....went to the office to work for a bit on saturday though.....CFC came to visit with dem Misses.....Ms Jigi almost gorrit, but she ran away her liver no gree even after i offed her paynt *hayam endowed like that............finished up my report by the way, no easy task

Hopefully i'll have something to write this sallah holiday

P.S
i still no dey proof read shit...i see most of u have hugged a transformer and are still alive....i blame PHCN for this....abeg #LightupNigeria

SKILLA DIARIES XIII

Thursday

Was in BANS *Boys Are Not Smiling* mode as owu dey blow and bills were piling up e no easy to be man. So i decided to shelve my BYOB Thursday ritual at play till CFC called to change paroles saying tabs are on him....as a sharp guy i tagged along awoof dey run belle. CFC picked me up, we left for wineshop around 10PM, grabbed a bottle of Vodka....and oh yeah, spotted Q without @Sir_Timmy1 *Dude is now chopping oil money in Bayelsa.....miss that nucca #nohomo

Got to BYOB rather early, in fact this was the earliest i've ever gotten there. We shared a table with Q, started sipping on our vodka shepe and juice when @GriffinStreeaks @Soyebo and the gang joined our table with. These boys are alcoholic....3bottles of vodka disappeared in no time even when CFC asked to monitor his alchy consumption. Step in T....T used to be CFC's neighbor at 1004 onile gogoro as well as Buga's almost girlfriend. Buga already gave me heads up that she'll be there and there she was shaking her ikebe in front of CFC. Make e no be like say i carry last, i follow rock the ikebe utunu!

T's Ikebe...Ikebe toh kwoliti

Our Koro at BYOB...that's @GriffinStreaks btw

Everyone sha wanted to grind with T

Left Play like 4:00AM and didn't get home till 7:30AM....why?....omo mehn crash inside car shayonabastard!.

Friday
 Woke up 30mins after i got home for work...................no one cares about work here. So Ms. Jigi called that she wanted to groove utunu....not just her o, she and her friends....for my mind i dey say one chance as me i no  get money but CFC came thru again what will i do without this boy *sigh*. @Biodunf and Kachi *Lagos fam* were also in town .....they shan't be dulled.....Mr. Mak picked me later in the eveing to hook up with the rest of the crew all 8 of us headed for P.U.L.S.E at Platinum Lounge, S.E.C.....dem wan form guest list but thank God i know people, who know other people who know bad guyz. Bumped into the regular Abuja crowd, Q was there, Zara wey suppose dey NYSC Camp, PWAN and many more i don't remember.

It was Ice Prince's birthday as well, so he decided to kolobi the microphone as well as order the DJ to play track this and track that.....we endured the brief moment of by force concert

IcePrince doing his thing

We left PULSE for Play which was a bit off for a Friday night.........next stop, Aqua....That place was HOT!!!! ahan, the place was packed.....blame it on this orobo pole dancer in a cow girl costume who knows how to work the pole better than her lepa counterparts....see pic below. By the way heard the babe was seizing phones if u took her picture...me i be james bond...seize fire na

Orobo Pole Dancer

Saturday
 Woke up late, and joined my peoples later, Kachi n @Biodunf were having fun i think and oh yeah it was also Debola's birthday awoof lems *bb alanta smiley*. Hooked up at ceddi plaza, whiled away time looking at some ladies dancing while boys called dibs on a particular chic in pink.

My People

Midnight
We headed to iBlend's ScreamFest at ROMA Lounge...all 18 of us o, u go fear crowd then Play afterward for Uti's party...we all couldn't get in levelz pass levelz. so we left for Aqua's Halloween parry without costume or mask........ patapata we go pay enter.

Aqua wasn't bad at all...well blame it on our crowd....we sure do know how to have fun.....Then orobo stripper came again with her tricks as well as obtaining phones....Softie took a pic and was nabbed....we got the phone later after the picture was deleted...tried to take a pic but it didn't come out clear

Cellulite Infested stripper yansh okbye!

Had a few drinks and headed to Aristotle oh boy we dey waka o!. Aristotle was fun too.......daned with Ms. Kunz for a bit and i kept repeating nohomo! every time she backed it up....she's the poster girl for chics i call DKNY "Double Kegs No Yansh!"

It was a great weekend and as Biodun said.....it was decadent and filled with debauchery....

Mac Daddy

that's Ms. Jigi's bumbum :D

Moi n Bukky

PS
I still won't proof-read shit, iz eet ya blog?


Have a great week