THE SKILLA DIARIES - A Mini Biography

Its Monday again whoop whoop! and i'm here downloading the latest jazz app in town...u know the jazz that can make u walk through walls, had my colleague at work to take a picture (see pic below). before you read the post, take your time and go through the disclaimer notice below.

 

Disclaimer Notice

The information contained herein is for the sole purpose of information, education and entertainment.This post was written out of boredom for my use and may contain information that is confidential, privileged or unsuitable for overly sensitive persons with low self-esteem, no sense of humour or irrational religious beliefs or English lecturers seeking grammatical blunders.

If you are not the intended recipient, any dissemination, distribution or copying of this post is not authorized (either explicitly or implicitly) and constitutes an irritating social faux pas. Unless the word absquatulation has been used in its correct context somewhere other than in this warning, it does not have any legal or grammatical use and may be ignored. No animals (maybe a few) were harmed in the transmission of this post, although Onyeka Oradiwe's Landlord's dog  is living on borrowed time, let me tell you. Those of you with an overwhelming fear of the unknown will be gratified to learn that there is no hidden message revealed by reading this warning backwards, so just ignore that Alert Notice from Microsoft: However, by pouring a complete circle of salt around yourself and your computer you can ensure that no harm befalls you and your pets. If you have come across this post in error, please add some nutmeg and egg whites and place it in a warm oven for 40 minutes. Whisk briefly and let it stand for 2 hours before icing and if that is too tedious, take a cold shower and hug the next available transformer, better still french kiss a live wire or tie your bed sheet around your neck a la cape and jump from the top of the Eiffel Tower seeing that you're a super hero seeking gbagauns in my post.

This message represents the official view of the voices in my head (dem plenty), i won't be held liable for any actions taken after reading. Thank you.


I bet this disclaimer will be longer than the post ......

This disclaimer may not be copied or reproduced in any form

without the expressed written consent of whoever I stole it from.

My Mini-Biography
 
Name: Tola aka Skillful Skillashi! aka Actor No dey Die aka Skilobo aka Abija aka etc...yes etc sef na alias!

Zodiac sign: Taurus.....I'm a BullY

Hobbies: Collecting Tiger/Shark teeth, Catching Bullets with Bare Hands, and stopping locomotive trains with my farts.

My Records: Fought with an Elephant and Hippopotamus  broke the elephant's neck, shoved it up the hippo's ass  after beating the shit out of a lion and bear for not supporting me.

Greatest Achievement: Skated on Lava.

Silly things Done: Swimming in a tsunami and playing tag with a cobra.

Most Embarassing Moment: Couldnt kill 100 Bears with a single punch(only 99 died). Last one was in a coma..wonder why the fool didn't die *kmt*

Proudest Moment: When a cobra Died after biting Me.B-)

Something about Me: i dont really like to show off, I'm too humble for that.....if I attempt show off ehn! You wouldn't believe anything I say, like how Jack Bauer, Jason Bourne, James Bond, Captain Afrika, Terror Muda and Chuck Norris asked me for help back in dem days *memories*  

Randoms
So someone asked me what I do when I run outta shoes, easy...I look for the closest reptile, preferably a crocodile or python, skin it alive and voila I've got new shoes.

Another person asked what would I do if horny...that wasn't difficult....strap bombs all over my body, blow up myself in a crowded area....voila 99virgins in heaven waiting for me *shiken*..... P.S. This is not suicide bombing as I have a return ticket from heaven with multiple entry visa sef.


Someone also asked how i do my shopping....like jeez! is that a question? What do you have Yahoo Messenger for?

For those doubting these facts i put up, see my picture....i was just 8yrs here by the way, leading a riot in protest of the rise in cost of agege bread and ew agoyin....i roll bare chested mehn! even the cops were scared to step up to me. They had to call in the Justice League to beg me....i didn't budge till i whooped super man and bat man before shoving captain america's shield up his ass.....memories* We're cool now though and i'm still considering joining the Justice League

If u got more questions about my humble self, feel free to post a comment and oh yes I'm very normal
Eez your boy Skillful Skillashi....aka...you know the rest....«---that's an alias too

Duzeez ....

P.S.
Read the disclaimer again o ye haters!